RE: Forgive and forget? I don't think so...
I am rushing in this....since its morning and I stole some computer time before work. The thing is I might not forget ... think the memory does get a bit foggy over time....but I do try to forgive. Or should I say....let go.
I grew up in a very abusive home (as you may have noticed from previous comments). And all that mentality, hate and black thoughts of revenge or whatever really dragged me down. You get in that vicious cycle and instead of moving anywhere you keep on spinning in hate and hurt. So I decided to let it go. I remember the exact moment ... I was 24 and I finally let it go. The feeling was so....liberating. It felt like now I have room for so much more stuff. Nicer stuff. It actually felt so good I decided to keep on doing it. So when I get hurt again and find myself in that cycle I consciously reprogram myself and let them go. They are not worth my energy or time or my mind. Why should I give them my focus at all? Of course, this may not work in some cases. If I was physically attacked I would, of course, defend myself.
Frankly speaking when I wrote this I didn't have in mind something so awful as an abusive family. That's a very tough thing to get over and I'm glad you did. I've seen people obsessing over the abuse they had suffered, which only hurt them in the end. I understand that you'd want the people that hurt you finally apologize for what they did, but in most cases this won't ever happen. Also, I've seen people unable to face the facts and admit to themselves that they were abused, somehow accepting their fate as victims and continuing to be the victims.
It's a good thing you've learned how to deal with negative feelings and move on and enjoy your life!
Yeah, i figured you meant something less awful but it still applies in my life. In a twisted way I can say my family messed me up so badly I'm practically immune now. The rest fades in comparison. BUT emotions are emotions. We get hurt no matter how thick our skin is but I apply the same reason...not worth my energy or time.
You have no idea how you nailed this one. That is the main issue. You keep on waiting for the people who hurt you to fall on their knees and idk...apologise and make it all better. It never happened in my life either. People do what they think is right at that point. So letting it go is the best solution (for me). Accepting. This is how it was, this is how it happened, this is who she is and this is how I am in reciprocation.
Hence. There will always be poop. Some like to watch poop, some like to stop and smell it, some even taste it and roll in it. :D I prefer to just jump across it and avoid it. Oh, don't get me wrong ... I ain't no saint. But yes i try to avoid other peoples projected poop. :D "Try" being the key word there.