I used to have bad FOGI...

...now I have TNTGI.  I'm far happier feeling TNTGI (pronounced tee..en..tee..gee) than I was feeling FOGI. 

FACEPALM

You have no idea what I'm taking about.  My apologies.  FOGI is...fear of getting involved.  TNTGI is...the need to get involved.  Getting involved in what though?  It's the kind of fear one potentially experiences when encountering everyday situations involving other people that unexpectedly may require something of you.  The kinds of situation I'm talking about (you may find some of them rather silly,) are;

• being asked for directions
• saving someone from being knocked over when crossing the road because they haven't seen the bus coming
• checking up on someone who is obviously alone and in distress
• helping someone struggling with a bag up a flight of steps
• intervening in a punch up
• helping someone who is suddenly taken sick
• witnessing a crime
• helping a lost child
• being caught in a conversation with a stranger who is more loquacious than you
• returning a dropped belonging to someone
• helping someone start their car or push it off the road

There are millions of examples of these kinds of interaction with a huge range of potential outcomes and severity.  If you can't handle someone asking you for directions, well if it's in the day and there are many other people about, they may get the wrong impression and conclude that you are quite rude.  Once someone else has taken care of their orientation deficit, they'll be just fine and will probably forget all about you.

On the other hand, helping a lost child or someone who is suddenly sick is potentially far more serious.  A more rapid evaluation of the situation is required and more decisive action taken.  Once becoming involved, there is a far greater sense of responsibility as the consequences of action or inaction may be extreme.  An it may be difficult to predict where the situation will lead.

I regard myself as being generally confident, both within and without.  However, social situations have always made me feel a little uncomfortable.  I struggle to remember people's names, I don't like being the center of attention, I have a tendency to overheat and sweat profusely when even mildly ruffled, I can't end a conversation and I have a weak bladder.  But why am I telling you this?  Why am I telling you this?  Ahhh yes...it's because I think some of that contributed to the FOGI I felt when I was younger and encountered certain situations.

There are many other things that may contribute to FOGI.  Here are some of the ones I can think of;

• too busy
• too late....something else is more important
• thinking about helping....then someone else does
• thinking about helping....then already passed and around the corner
• holding a coffee
• stuck...frozen...can't compute...anything
• simply incapable of improving the situation
• need a pee
• fear of embarrassment 
• fear of responsibility
• fear of failure
• fear of reprisal
• fear of escalation
• general, inexplicable, inescapable, crippling FOGI

However FOGI manifests itself, the end result is an opportunity to help someone may pass you by.  Of course, that's perfectly ok!  There may be someone more qualified, more competent or less awkward there to help anyway and I'm sure those calculations are a part of anyone's decision making process when the call comes, FOGI or TNTGI.  What is not ok is for any of us to stop trying.  If we keep trying, we might get better at it, we might become more helpful, more competent and more confident.     

Like any of our incredible fellow human beings who are able to think in a tight spot, can rapidly evaluate a situation, can prioritise with ease, can take charge, can offer comfort, can reassure......we all have those capabilities too.  We just need to exercise and train them.  We have to set aside the desire to move on, our own discomfort and take action in spite of our fears.  Before you know it, your FOGI will turn into a TNTGI and helping those in need when the opportunity arises will become second nature and extremely rewarding.

There can be no doubt, we must all do more to help each other.  There is simply no other way to mend the things that are broken in our societies.

The biggest challenge may be helping out that broke, drunk dude on the bus.  He's asleep, missed his stop, shit himself, puked all over (the mangy, vicious-looking rottweiler is eating it,) and covered in plague. 

Good luck.

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Happy Steeming