My first time flying (scared of heights)

Flying is something normal that we all do every once in a while, right? WELL, now yes but at once point in my life, I couldn't even think about stepping in an airplane without feeling like panicking. Swear! So it only seemed fair that I would share my first time experience in a plane (... flying) with you all.

Since I was a little girl I had this flying fear and (I don't know if for good or bad) I was never put in a situation that I'd have to face it until I turned 18. I even remember telling my relatives that I'd never step in an airplane (if little me could only see me now).

But anyways, when I was 18 I was fixated on doing an exchange and visiting more places in the world, Europe in particular. I ended up deciding to spend 1 year as an Au pair in Holland and I had so much to arrange that I kind of forgot about my fear.

• Now, I know that we probably have dozens of youtube videos on how to make the experience more relaxing if you are scared flying, but a few years ago, not so much -

So at one point I found myself at the airport ready to board my flight from Rio to Paris (11h flight), full of suitcases and crying saying bye bye bye to my family etc. At that moment I still didn't remember how I felt about the thin flying cans.

So I boarded the plane and right when we started to take off, I heard the engine noises and etc, I remembered that I did not want to be there. Except there was not anything I could do but wait 11hours to touch the ground again. I was super scared, all alone, going to a place I had never been before and not knowing what to expect. Every time the plane passed a turbulence zone, I thought I was not going to make it. I could not sleep for the whole time because I was super 'on alert' but after a few hours, I thought that it was actually alright there. I mean, I was still scared but there wasn't anything I could do about it so I might as well watch some movies.

The whole time, I kept looking at the map and checking out the areas we were passing, I looked at the stars and I felt very proud of myself for facing my fear. So I was ok when I arrived in Paris for my connection. I thought that I wouldn't be so nervous on the next flight because I had just spent an eternity inside up in the air, right?

As I rush through the airport to make it to my 2nd flight, after the passport control, these 2 guys stop me in the middle of the airport and ask to check my documents and my bag. I don't know if it was because I was going from Brazil or I looked like I was nervous, but yeah. They took their time looking through by bag and emptying it. At one point I was sitting on the floor in the middle of Paris Charles de Gaulle holding my spare bras, while hundreds of people walked by (one of the most beautiful moments of my life) until they told me I could go.

So I finally arrived at my gate and it was super empty just a few people on the chairs, which I thought that was suspicious because my connection was just 45 min. But who am I to question it? I just sat there and waited... I waited for another 30 min before noticing that my plane was gone. YEP. I had missed my connection.

I had no idea what to do, I had people waiting for me in Amsterdam and it was not looking good for moi. I spoke to a lady from the airline company and I think she saw the panic in my eyes and felt bad for me. She booked me on a flight 1:30 hour later, gave me vouchers for croissants and a card for the pre-paid phone at the airport before telling me that 'only AirFrance does this' lol Let's say I spent 20 min trying to see how the phone worked and after I contacted the family that was waiting for me, I just went to my gate and sat there. I sat there for like 1h, plane-watching, I didn't even get the croissant because I was scared of missing that new flight (please remember I had no idea how any of that worked) but eventually I made it.

I arrived safe and sound in Amsterdam, my bags were not lost and I got so worried about the situation in Paris that when I walked in the 2nd plane, I was just relieved to be there.

Nowadays I'm still afraid of flying, but I do it all the time (when I have the opportunity), I try to avoid listening to songs that talk about "falling", "dying", "if I never see you again" or anything like that though. I always have to skip a few Adele songs.

I hope you liked my story! Do you also have this problem or know someone that does? Let me know what you think! Tchau!