I start this blog for two reasons, one being that it gives me the push I need but also so other people in a similar situation can see that it can work, hopefully anyway. These posts will be about my journey as I attempt to lose weight. I am a person that has let their weight get out of hand and I am going to make a strong effort to get a hold of it. I am being open on steam so that I can get feedback from others who have taken this journey and so I might be able to get suggestions that may help myself and others.

I have never been tiny, my family isn’t built that way. When I was in middle school and high school I weighed around 200 and 220 pounds. Not tiny but in my opinion healthier than my current weight. My current weight the last time I stepped on a scale, which was January, I weighed 310 pounds. Let me start by saying I am not proud of this weight by no means. I am disgusted that I have allowed myself to get this large and unhealthy. Something has to be done or I could have more health problems than I already do.

With me being this large it has caused some health problems. Some of which has caused me not to have one thing that I am fairly good at, being a mom. I love the children I have but I have always wanted to have a child. This weight puts a strain on my ovaries and uterus so my body is making it difficult for those parts of my body to function correctly. With that knee, back and breathing problems all have affected me due to my weight. Those are only the physical problems they don’t include the many emotional problems. Some people do not understand the emotional toll of being a large person has.

When I entered middle school, that’s when I started to realize that being a big girl was going to be a challenge. There is a movie called The Duff, a duff for people that do not know is a Designated Ugly Fat Friend. You may be thinking that is not a real thing, you would be wrong. I went through middle and high school being this friend. My friends never said or tried to make me feel that way but sure felt that way at the time seeing as most of my friends were quite a bit smaller than me. This feeling would cause a lot of hiding and staying out of the public eye.

I am not trying to have a pity party for me but if someone else is having a similar circumstance know you're not alone. My parents have always said they love me for who I am as a person not what I look like. I believe you should love yourself that does not mean I do. My wife loves me even though I am at my heaviest. When we got together I was only like 220 pounds I have now almost gained a 100 pounds, yet she still sticks by me. I have a support system that encourages me to do whatever makes me happy. Every one should find a good support system.

A good support system is very important to have when trying to lose weight. If you have a spouse, friend or family member that encourages you to better yourself then you have accomplished step one. You may wonder why I want a good support system but it is because it helps to have encouragement from the ones you love. Plus there are people that will push you to do your best. I am not talking about someone that follows you around saying good job, good job. In no way am I saying that’s what you need but some do. In my case, I just need someone to say I believe in you.

I am doing this for a better and healthier life. Yes to be able to fit into a size 18 again would be great but I am more worried about my health. I went to a doctor about six months ago and was informed that due to my weight gain I had formed a hiatal hernia. This is caused by my fat pushing my organs up and when it did it pushed my stomach up and caused a kink which caused a hernia to form at the top of my stomach and right under my diaphragm. When this hernia gets inflamed it causes a pain that is almost unbearable plus it puts a strain on my diaphragm which causes it to be hard to breathe. Along with this, my doctor would go on to say that I am a walking heart attack waiting to happen. Her exact words were “it's not when its how bad it will be,” this comment would scare me more then anything ever has. I don’t want to have a heart attack at 26 or 30, but if I continue at this rate it's inevitable so it is up to me to make a change.

How I am going to change:

Now that the weather has started to change for the better. It gives me the opportunity to walk more. I am going to take every chance I can to walk. Along with that, I will work on my portion control. Finally other types of exercise such as yoga and basic exercise.

I am going to set a goal for myself to walk for at least thirty minutes and/or a mile a day. This will help burn calories but also build the muscles in my legs back up so that they can support me. When I say walk I don’t just mean a lazy walk I mean power walking. When I was in high school my gym teacher said to me, “ you may not run but you are working your body like you are when you power walk”. I will hopefully eventually be able to run without feeling like I am going to die but to start power walking is what I am going to do.

Let's talk about portion control. Portion control is when you stop yourself from overeating. This is extremely hard for me. When I am bored or upset I head straight to the fridge or cabinet for a snack. A snack is not a bad thing always, the doctor actually encourages you to have a snack in between breakfast and lunch and lunch and dinner. But these snacks should be healthy like a cup of nuts, fruits or vegetables. Not a half a bag of potato chips or a can of Pringles. I am bad about when I eat dinner I don’t know how to stop with one helping. I like food and I am working on training myself to only eat one helping instead of stuffing myself. Another problem I have regarding food is going out to eat. Fast food has become my enemy. I ate my last fast food meal Friday. From now on if I go out I will be getting something that isn’t all fattening and unhealthy.

The last step I am going to cover is a daily exercise. I work from 6 am to 4 pm every day except for weekends. While I am at work I do have a long lunch. This will give me the opportunity or do some exercises. Obviously walking but I want to try to do things like lunges or even stretches. I am easily embarrassed so I will most likely only do walking at work with occasional stretches. But at home, I am starting to do yoga and other workouts such as toe touches, sit-ups, crunches, and stairs. These might not seem like a lot but for me starting out it is a lot. I have never really been one that works out but I would like to make my body strong and healthy.

I will be posting once a week with pictures and updates. I will be posting pictures regarding my exercise and food intake. I will not be perfect and I will slip so I hope you can stick with me and take this journey with me.