Seasonal Depression (SSP #1)
200 months of weighted sorrow
16.6 years of absolute misery
.
50 dreadful summers
100 months of weighted sorrow
8.3 years of absolute misery
.
25 years of misery
25 years of temporary happiness
.
Find me a place
where the trees sprout and fall
all at once.
Give my life some light again, to finally find my balance
Because I've been slipping through the winters
And stumbling through the summers
.
I Basque in the guilt
Like I wish I did the laundry more
But my feet are cemented to the floor
Much too busy staring at walls
I have no time to clean at all
.
Trapped within the walls I've built
Spring can not come soon enough
Fall, so far
I'm in the rough
of summer's heat
Lost all control
and so I sleep
counting days instead of sheep
50 wretched winters
200 months of weighted sorrow
16.6 years of absolute misery
.
50 dreaded summers
100 months of weighted sorrow
8.3 years of absolute misery
.
25 years of gray and gloom
9,125 days of absolute misery...
Writing Skill Level
I have joined the 100 poems a day challenge, this being day one. I would label myself maybe an intermediate poet? I'm not a beginner but I have ALOT to learn so I'm not entirely sure where I fit. I've been writing on and off since I was seven, I always excelled in english and creative writing classes. I'm a singer so writing songs is basically poetry with rythm. After high school, I fell out of habit and stopped writing for a while. I've gotten a bit rusty but I look forward to shifting gears and staying motivated to improve my writing skills throughout the next hundred days.
PHOTO #1 CREDS:
https://goo.gl/images/KouQJk
PHOTO #2 CREDS: https://goo.gl/images/ZVw9zV
I really liked your poem. I like the repetition. The use of numbers. The numbers for me were actually as alive as the actual words. I could feel the misery; quantified and laid out with precision. I would argue that you would belong in the advanced group.
Advanced group, you really think so? That's an amazing compliment, thank you (: I actually wrote the numbers during a sleepless night, weighing out the rest of my life. I'm glad I could turn my depression into something creative. Thank you so much for commenting and reading my post <3
even if you hadn't said you were a musician, I would have guessed it based on the natural rhythm of your words. you can always see music's hand in the writings of those who have spent too much time with music.
I appreciated the cyclical quality you incorporated here, your wrapping of thoughts with framing.
Not an easy read, of course, a tragic one, but you have found beauty in sadness - in particular, I think this line is brilliant:
Thank you for sharing, @charlotteroze, look forward to watching you grow through your pursuit of the challenge and continue to connect with your readers.
That's so neat (: I actually thought this poem lacked a certain type of rythm. Like I threw in one too many words somewhere but I couldn't pin point it. I'm very relieved to know I don't come off too Dr. Suess ;p
Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment I really appreciate every word <3 (:
Very sad but brilliant piece <3 i am not sure you know how good you actually are when you grow into your pen you will be unstoppable :)
Thank you! (: It means alot <3 I'm really looking forward to the hundredth poem so I can look back at the first and compare how far I've come (:
Like
It does feel a bit like an all year round struggle at times for sure....
Doesn't it though? The only time I feel I can breathe is at the start of spring and the middle of fall. That's such a tiny window.
It's pretty pathetic when you think about how many people live in miserable climates all year round. At least I have the blessing of experiencing changing seasons... But it's so difficult to think that way when you can't even will yourself out of bed.
Sometimes I think getting out of bed must be considered an achievement all of it's own might, particularly when you are in such a terrible place in your mind.
We are starting to see a bit of spring here in the UK now, but it'sslow going.
I couldn't agree more. Wish the neorotypicals understood lol I just look lazy. Spring feels so far, I feel that too. I live in michigan where it'll be below freezing for months then suddenly its 70° and I can breathe... Then its back to 20°the next day like fuck! Weather said SIKE!
Great work @charlotteroze. A unique piece for sure with the exacting quantities of the seasons. It made the inner lines of just words all the more potent to me.
After contemplating (and thanks to your notes at the bottom) I believe you fit into the advanced group because of your experience in creative writing, songwriting, etc. You are able to speak to a reader quite intimately and are definitely original in your concept and execution.
Looking forward to more! Thank you for fulfilling all the guidelines!
Thank you so much!((: and thank you for creating this challenge I know I'll learn alot along the way. Advanced. Wow! Thank you!
Like this a lot. Thank you for filling us in on your history with poetry and song writing. It makes sense as to why this is so well written and structured... I'd put you in the pro category personally... don't be modest now ;)
The weight of sadness and grief comes through in the words and as I read it, it was so strong that I almost felt it begin to weigh on me too.
Know that the past does not equal the future... you can always create a brighter day today... no matter what's happened in the past.
Just my 2 cents <3
Great to find you here, will be sure to keep in tune with your future submissions :)
With Love
Hart Floe Poet
<3
Aww you're awesome thank you! I guess I weigh professional poets as people who know everything about every rhyme scheme and structure out there. I just sort of write with a rythm and hope I find the right rhymes to fit. Haha
I'm definitely working on looking forward instead of back but it seems to be way easier said than done. Maybe I'll move to hawaii where the weathers always nice and the colors stay all year round. Someday.... (;
Hehe I'm definitely not a professional then under than definition -- not by a long shot! Passionate yes... but no pro hehe.
I have a poem about the past... if you send me your e-mail I'd be happy to send it to you and hope that the words in it may help you in some way...
Hawaii sounds great... it's important to change to an environment that doesn't hold the energy of the past / remind you of it wherever you go. I definitely think that's a good idea... I mean Hawaii is always a good idea right?!
Thank you for your comment. Here for support my friend, in your poetry and in life :)
With Love
Hart Floe Poet
<3
I would absolutely love to read it! Do you use discord?
Sorry winters are seen as sadness nice writing though i enjoyed the read
Thank you I appreciate you taking the time to read it and comment(: