RE: Wheres Mike...(2)
Thank you and i have to agree with you! staying together when youre miserable also is not the answer either... just wish people would take the time to figure it all out while dating first. theres no rush to marriage. I hear all the time omg weve already been together for 4 years though when is he going to propose.... ok so what, you've been together 4 years, youre taking your time learning about one another and if you do end up getting married its not "wasted time", that little piece of paper saying your married doesn't and shouldn't change your relationship at all, so whats the difference?? I hope that makes sense but that's how I feel about it. and don't even get me started on the flashy engagement ring phase... these men spending as much on a ring as they could a vehicle or small house... get out of here... what are you trying to prove? I don't need a giant flashy ring to show my man loves me... my promise ring: a thrift store find that we found together while thrifting one day that cost $0.25! its so unique, I love it, it doesn't turn my finger green lol and its the MEANING behind it that I love so very much!
I actually agree 100%.
It honestly feels like a diamond ring is used more as a badge of honour or a status symbol instead of an actual commitment. A lot of my friends are exactly the same... "I really thought he'd propose on this trip", etc etc instead of spending the time thinking about the long term commitment.
Clearly at least half the people getting married aren't thinking it through (given divorce rates). We were never going to get married, mainly because we wanted either one of us to step away if someone else made them happier... and what that meant is that we were both putting in a good effort to ensure we were the best person for the other. After 14-15 years, lots of pressure to get married so we threw everyone a 'Not-Wedding' dress up party - which totally did the trick.
We are married now (easier for the whole visa thing) but we're still putting the effort in.
Fun Fact: Engagement diamond rings have only been around since the 1920s... Before that diamonds were essentially worthless because no one cared about them.
you're totally right on the badge of honor thing i totally agree. its a shallow social thing more than a commitment anymore. Makes me ill to watch those videos people post on youtube when the girl gets mad because the ring is too small or not the right one or he didn't propose exactly how she wanted in a helicopter over Italy... gimme a break, really. if these people put half the effort into their marriages as they do worrying about what other people think of them on the internet they'd probably have a happier marriage and the us would have a lower divorce rate