Gentle Earthling is seeking Soulful Alien - m4ww (Spaceship Earth)

About Me:
I love almost anything you put in front of me. I'm a fan of Starbucks' Flat Whites and sex. I also enjoy winning contests however small they may appear. I often think the world revolves around me and that it's all about me, but please don't call me egocentric. A former drug addict, I'm considering a life of crime at the moment. Either as a bank robber, drug kingpin, or just your standard bread thief. A bread thief is just a thief who only steals bread (ethics... you know).

Hard Limits:
Scary Stories are kinda a letdown for me. Scared of my own shadow so please no shadows, shadowy figures, shade, nightshade. Poison Ivy is a no no for me. Either the plant (afraid of wiping my ass with it after taking a shit in the woods) or the character (very paranoid about being entrapped by the real life version of PI (Poison Ivy). Speaking of Ivy, very scared of IV needles or anything that is penetrating anything except my asshole (but please be gentle).

Seeking:
A large group of women to love me :) Hopefully an amazon like tribe of super smart/ super sexy ninja like chicks who won't kill me but will kick my ass into shape (too cheap to afford a gym membership).

NB: Ethiopian food is a big plus.