Family Visits

Hello fellow Steemians!

I have heard lots of stories from my married friends about how family visits became horror nights. That's really sad. Both for families and the couple. Let me explain how these visits work for me and Ece. Maybe it would be useful for the ones whom seek tips :)

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I met with Ece's family at their summer cottage. It was our first months(2nd or 3rd month). I was serious to marry with her, so i find nothing wrong of meeting her parents. This meeting part is subject of whole different story. I just want to say that i found myself sprawl on their couch in 3 hours. Think how i felt comfy and indigensed them.

Ece's met with my parents were tougher. She was scaring to meet with my mom. Well, that's because the horror stories i told Ece about her :) But they were just stories and she didn't realise that until she met with her. After that, she relieved and mad at me because of those stories. (i.e. i told Ece that my mother shout without reason suddenly and throw on me whatever she grasp at the moment)

In the meantime, Ece was really freaked out about our family meeting. According to her there was no way these two families to like each other. She said "they are from different planets". But i was eager that they are going to get along really well. And it worked that way. Actually, they are asking about each other every time we visit one of them.

There is a telling in Turkey. "Marriage is not between bride and groom, it's more between their families". This is the motto of our marriage. I'm a family guy. I do everything for my family and still can't imagine a life without them. Meeting of two family is important to me because of this motto. And i always wanted my lover's family and mine get along as they are right now.

I think this is the main reason of scary family visits.

If two families don't like each other or at least don't respect, then the spouse's visits become horror stories. If my parents don't like Ece's and everytime i visit Ece's they talk against my parents, then i would not want to visit them. This is valid for Ece too. If we still visit them ardently, the reason is we have good conversations and don't insult the other family during those.

And there is also liking between us and the families. I can say that me and my father in law are gatting along as friends. And Ece and my mother also getting along as good friends. Even i catch them gossip about me sometimes.

-He's so sloppy mom. Yesterday, she tried to squeeze orange and grapefruit. Their juice were everywhere but the pot.
-Yes, i now honey. He was like that back in.
-And he is messy. He throws wherever he likes to his clothes. I'm tired of seeking the pair of his sock under the couch.
-Drop it. If you can't find, put it into trashcan. And yell him about that. Unless he doesn't take you serious.
Me(enter the room after the last line): Thanks mom, you are a good mother. Are you collaborate against me? She's the one who came outside. I'm from your belly!

Currently married ones, sorry but i can't help you right now. Maybe you may try to respect even if you don't like your wife's/husband's parents. And counsel your parents accordingly.

And the single ones. Don't miss to meet with your lover's parents. And be sure if yours get along with hers/his. Otherwise, every visit to them become a burden and you get far after that visits. Family is everything. You are strong with your family. You will understand that in time.

Well, i wish you all have a good day :)