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RE: Promiscuity Over Monogamy – Diving Into Cheating Culture

in #life5 years ago

You hit so many topics here, I am going to struggle to get all of them but I will try. What sucks about cheating, at least defining it, is that it it’s definitions are a vast as there are types of relationships.

I think one of the problems that really causes a majority of infidelity situations, I am not a marriage counselor nor a psychologist so I am probably full up shit, is that people enter committed relationships with wildly different goals. Now, they should have different goal, but the problem lies in that those goals and expectations have not been communicated to the other. In saying that, as you spoke of, needs do not get met. People stray, sometimes physically, but way more often emotionally, which in my humble opinion is in someways more damaging.

Another thing you hit on is the need for therapy. Every relationship need constant maintenance, and the ability to be open. Two often, we believe open an honest dialogue is a sign of a weakening, especially if we need help to get there. I mean, in reality, we have decided to open a business with a person based and physical and emotional feelings over the period of a couple months or years. Heck, we sometimes put more due diligence into the reviews of where we buy tires for our car. If you think your relationship doesn’t need work, then it probably needs more work than everyone else’s.

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I swear I look forward to reading your feedback daily now! (You can’t quit now, it has become a habit of mine haha:P)
You put it so brilliantly man, and you’re the opposite of someone full of shit! I’d say you’re full of wisdom!

In regards to the emotional cheating - I absolutely agree with you. Creating a place for open dialogue as you said it is crucial. So much could be avoided if people worked on their ability to be good communicators, as well as good and compassionate listeners.

You got me at “we sometimes put more due diligence into the reviews of where we buy tires for our car.” This is so sad yet so true! Just as often, people will treat strangers with the greatest respect and kindness, and back home, they’ll be the complete opposite with their spouse. This isn’t normal:(

I think to often, on or both sides of the equation of a relationship, thinks they can fix or change the other side. When neither side wants to change or doesn't believe they are broken. It is sobering for a person to find out that their partner believes them to be broken or fixable. It is one think to see potential in someone to the point where they might grow into something. But to often, people engage into some kind of social/interpersonal engineering with their partner to create what they believe they should have from a partner.

Again, I might be full of shit. There is a good possibility.