I'm still alive :) - Diaries of a Suicidal Teen.

Hello Guys,

So.... As you can see I'm still alive.
I don't know if I should be happy about it or if I should be angry.
Live isn't what I wish someone had told me.
It is like I don't live my life.
It feels fake.
It feels automated.
...

Sometimes I wish I have a friend.
Someone I can talk to.
Tell my problems.
Talk about my problems.
Every night I live in the past.

...

At this point of life I don't even think about if I want to commit.
I am already in the phase of how I want to commit.
I had it all planned out this summer.
I was just going to walk under a car.
Unfortunately someone had to push me off the road.
Was it an angel? Or was it someone actually?
All I know is that I've got protected 3 Times that day.

...

Today I had some problems. And I will have more tomorrow.
I know that I need to do more and it is my fault.
I need to stop over thinking and just do it.

...

Tonight I DON'T want to be ALIVE.
I JUST WANT TO DIE TODAY.
...

Have a good, blessed day!

Your dear, CryptoGenic