I Am Certainly Not Happy With My Birthday Today
I am just wondering why I did managed to last this long as a dialysis patient having a lot of complications particularly to my facial bone, backbone, feet joints, all the joints basically plus the stiffness and my marked weakness.
I am just so overdue to die and yet I am still here kicking can all over the place and loitering my uninteresting experiences and stories in the steem blockchain. Sometimes I just do not want to fight anymore because of what I feel inside me, I am already weak and do not know if I would continue to pursue my madness in longing for a greater wellness because of the things that are happening beyond my control.
Right now I do not like what is happening around the world, the pandemic, and especially the turmoil in our steem platform, it tortures my mind because I have to think about those as well as it impacts my life, my goals, and my overall plans.
As much as I wanted to celebrate my birthday I am preferring not to but I am just thankful for my parents who are always ready to support me although they just oppose some of my plans. Them being around is just what I needed in these years that I am really needing them because of my condition.
No one around I think will ever bother in helping me which is why I am cherishing every moment that I am with my parents. Also I cherish the moment that I am with the steem blockchain, I hope that thins will stabilize soon because so many people including me relies on this platform to bridge my needs, making ends meet otherwise I will be in a very bad situation.
I am just surviving because I still have money to spare but without my money that had earned from this platform I am no more already considering that my medicines are so expensive. So I am thankful about this platform, this community where I had found friends that are never ceasing to support because they know what I am going through.
But should I be happy with my birthday, I am not, it is not a good and ideal way to live, I am just basically surviving because of other's support plus living like this is not the way one should live. I hope that God would make me rst soon I am tired.
"Making sense" is a petty, human ideal (call it an opinion). We make everything have some kind of meaning. Sometimes - a choice is made to revise or make new meaning. We also misuse that activity- against ourselves often enough. I sure have. But whatever.. point is, you belong here at this time. You make a difference- and I don't just mean as a blogger on Steem. That's a certainty.
Still I wish you a happy Birthday. I empathize with your feelings. Stay up bro, and your feelings are your feelings and I respect it.
Stay strong for your parents at least, you mean the world to them.
We are all kicking and loitering my friend lol, happy birthday anyway!
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Happy birthday. My grandma is in the hospital ICU for a month now and like you she is undergoing dialysis and that is just one of the health issues she faces. I understand where you are coming from because my grandmother also said the same. We don't want to lose her same way with the people who love you they would do their best for you. We can all survive our own struggles keep the faith and Steem on.
It is sad to read, I feel, though I can understand your wish to find peace. Hope for you that there will be a solution found soon. So you can live your life as best as possible. My birthday wish for you is that you can trust on the costs of your medical needs are being taking care of. Hang in there.
Everything will be ok bro
Happy brithday dear