I am Still Alive

in #life6 years ago (edited)

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I came back from the dead. I've been inactive on Steemit for more than 2 weeks now and I know this is not Me. Not that people really care about that though. I guess I just feel guilty and it's like I don't know how to write anymore. I was just busy trying to make a living or trying to live amongst the living. We all know that Steem is at its lowest at the moment and it's quite disheartening. This has greatly affected me in many ways as I used to live off Steemit. But, this is not really the reason that I stopped writing. It's not because Steem price is so low. I just had to find other ways to make money and I didn't have time to sit in front of the computer for longer periods. I also have new neighbors who are partying every night and are quite a distraction. I just lost my peace and silence. I also started hosting travelers on couchsurfing just so I could get some tour bookings and commissions. Most of the time, I was out and about showing people around and taking care of business.

The great thing is that I am still surviving. I still have my cat and a roof over my head thankfully. I am still working on my venture. There are a lot of things I haven't shared about my entrepreneurial life because it's getting a bit more complicated these days. There are a lot of changes in the town due to tourism regulations and government policies. And because of these changes, I realize that I have to change my line of business from being a "Travel Agency" to a "Tour Operator". There are a lot of things I need to work on like legal stuff and paperwork. And it's all making me crazy.

It's all making me crazy because I have no funds and I'm doing everything on my own. Then I thought, do I have other options aside from achieving my goals and heading towards the financial stability direction? I believe I don't like the alternatives. I don't function very well if I am doing something that I don't like. I don't like to go back to a 9-5 desk job, live in the city or travel aimlessly again. I might as well just rot somewhere and be effortlessly forgotten. I am either just going there or not.

My decision to change my line of business is due to the fact that a service provider messed up big time. They made a lot of mistakes and cannot live up to my standards anymore. I cannot risk my online reputation by continuing the partnership. Anyway, there were no contracts that have been signed so I try to find other providers. I faced a lot of rejections and scrutiny by the townfolks. I'm actually just here waiting to be torched. I am still here mainly because I have thick skin. And maybe, I cannot be burned that easily.

I know that there's a possibility that not everyone is like my unreliable service provider. And not everyone is bad. But you know how it works in small towns, everyone can just be the same. Or most if not everyone. I guess I cannot risk having to entrust all tours and services to them and so the only way is to just be an independent operator. In this way, I can reap the rewards for setting the standards and for trying to be different.

At some point, I have to decide if I want to be a sheep or a wolf. I guess I am facing the consequences of being a lone wolf now. My world is getting smaller and colder. As a human being, I still yearn for a meaningful connection. It is just hard when you are in business. It is hard when you know exactly what you want.

There's also the creeping rent, bills to pay, groceries, and business expenses for the next tax year. I can't wait for the time that someone else has to do these things for me. I am now looking into other options for making some money I can use for scaling my business - like selling properties. In a major tourist destination and one of the most visited islands in the world, buying a property here would be like sitting on the rocking chair forever. Oh yes, if only I can sell one, just one, maybe I will be good. I will be able to buy my own piece of land too and not be roaming around homeless. So, if you know anyone who wants to invest in a property (for a resort, hotel or a beach house), just let me know on discord! Note: we have to trust each other - that's the thing!

I might not be able to write regularly as I used to or maybe I can but just once a week now. If I get past this difficult thing of getting a whole new business permit, hopefully, I will be able to write again. Before the end of the year, I will post the goals that I was able to accomplish this year, like a year-end review of my achievements. Then I will post my new goals for the next year. I believe that everything is going to be fine as always. I miss all my followers and I hope everyone is doing great out there - wherever you guys are!

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Writing doesn't necessarily have to be hard. You could have written about things you were worried about the business or silly quirks of someone staying with you or whatever. They don't have to be long posts. You could just do a short update or a small little freewrite about something on your mind.

As to your business, I wish you luck.

It makes sense to expand it into tours or some such. People can book flights and such online these days. They can search for the best prices. Of course, that too takes a lot of time. It takes even more time to plan a trip though. I myself have no clue what I would want to visit in various places. I can only think about places where I would like to stay. Standard tourist spots don't appeal to me, because they are so crowded and require so much walking. By the end you're just tired and annoyed. It's not fun. Having someone to find places that you would want to go to and see, that is valuable. That's reason to hire someone to help plan a vacation.

I think I'd rather write a blog than a tweet or a facebook-like what's on your mind short post.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

I didn't mean something Tweet length. Though they have increased considerably in length these days. I meant something of a few hundred words. It only takes maybe half an hour. Just saying it's possible to occasionally do.

Glad to hear you're okay-ish. I feared you'd had to sell your computer to eat or some shit.

Yes, okayish thanks! I will never sell my computer!

I sent you a PM on Discord. JIC you don't check that often.

I will check.

Glad to hear you are still alive! I haven't posted for over a month. I can't find the motivation/inspiration.

I am happy someone is glad that I am still alive! The price of steem is not motivating.

I'm actually just here waiting to be torched. I am still here mainly because I have thick skin. And maybe, I cannot be burned that easily.

This makes me think of you like Daenerys Targaryen (I read all of the Game of Thrones Books .. if you haven't .. it's a great way to spend countless hours of your life! .. provided you can ever afford to take enough time for yourself). Anyway.. "Mother of Dragons".. you definitely have a thick skin like her character; although she is "fireproof", and in a way, I believe that you are as well!

Your determination and grit are very admirable. I hope that the process to classify your business as a Tour Operator as opposed to Travel Agency provides you with more success! Nobody enjoys doing paperwork and government regulations can be burdensome to many small businesses.. I am certain that you will persevere and emerge stronger for doing so much of this by yourself.

I wish you continued success and look forward to seeing the considerable list of things that you have accomplished this year!

I have been planning a similar post! Glad you are still kickin (ass).

I will wait for that post! I'm happy to be back here!

Good luck in your new business and dedication. Trust and honestly is something essential for repeat business and long term success. One day I would like to open up a B&B in a warm climate, near the beach, just need to decide the best location to start a business and a great place to live.

Thank you! B&B sounds cool!

Glad to see that you're still around.. I was beginning to worry about you, but I figured that it was probably something similar to what you described; having to hustle in order to make ends meet. I'm in a place where I can blog almost constantly, but that's not going to last. I've considered dictating to my smartphone while working or driving or stuff. Often my best stuff comes to mind in situations like that, when I don't have the computer to distract me, lol.

But you might even be able to snap pictures and take voice notes while conducting tours, making "travel blog" type posts. And Engrave might be useful to you, depending on if/how you wished to build such a thing. Also Appics, when they get out of beta.

I'm somewhat in a similar situation, though. I had planned on moving to a tourist town in the mountains and work there as a performer (because everything is a performance in such places) but due to gigantic wildfire, all the cheap housing is gone, and most places are $1200 per month for Way More room than I want. I just can't afford to make the move in those circumstances. I would need several thousand just to get my feet beneath me. So I'm having to reassess and determine another course of action.

As they say, "Life is what happens while you have other plans." Stay at it, you'll make it.

I guess I cannot be killed easily, so yeah here I am still thanks! Once everything is in order as I doubt it will ever be in order, I will try to write regularly again. I will try that voice recording thing though. I just love the flow of writing and thinking, I don't know.

I am struggling with a lot of things, the reason - people mainly. They are a constant disappointment I know.

I hope everything works out well for you! May you find a nice and affordable place, good people and inner peace!

hang in there for sure. having standards and resilience will always get you there eventually.
i too am inactive here on steemit mostly due to needs for fiat avenues. i look forward to having more time for steemit. as i actually enjoy being part of this thing...whatever it is.

having standards and resilience will always get you there eventually.

Thanks, I really hope...

I think we will always go back to Steemit... maybe it's home too.

I was waiting for an update post from you, so I'm glad to you're fine. Finding the right people to business isn't always easy, but once you'll find one it will be worth all the trouble you've been through.
I have no inspiration so I haven't posted for 3 weeks now... Hope my desire to write and share will come back soon

I hope you write again too! Happy holidays!

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