So, I Didn't Get The Job

I don't know if this should be a celebratory post (for still being free) or a rant (for not getting the job). I'm about to spew bitterness all over. This is not my day. So, I had my job interview today which didn't turn out well. All because I don't have experience as a QA supervisor.

Shattered dreams, broken promises.

Naaaaah, life goes on down here. As always. Moving on.

Okay, let me explain first why I'm a bit upset. I just felt like I was betrayed by my own expectations. Demoralized by my own illusions.

Let's rant and roll.

During the phone interview, I was asked to introduce myself and recount my work history and all that. I even prepared my stagnant brain hours before. Now this is the thing about being positive with something, it gives me the illusion that I will get it, until I don't. See, I should have been realistic. I'm out of the corporate scene for many years, with many hard-to-explain gaps in between. Well, actually, all those were just my traveling and nomadic years which can be a red flag to recruitment. My lack of commitment is the deal-breaker.

I sure explained it in a way that there's a reason for everything and that I am committed. Well, to traveling maybe. Or to living my life to the fullest.

After all that flowery talk about my previous work and whereabouts, finally, the QA director told me that they were looking for someone with a QA supervisor experience because they don't have the time and resources to train someone.

Fine, understandable. Point taken.

But oh my Gawd, it felt like I just opened up my heart to you and now suddenly you are breaking up with me?

You are not the right one. Deal with it.

What I don't understand is why this HR who referred me to the QA director for the final interview didn't go through my resume first and foremost. He should have seen it clearly that I didn't have any supervisory experience in the corporate world. And that my last work experience was way back in 2013. Yes, that was seven years ago. A lot has happened in this world as I was told. Well, a lot has happened in my life too.

Because I have way more colorful life than you preppy corporate bee. There's a reason I left that toxic corporate scene a long time ago.

Was this HR guy just trying to meet his quota or what? Just so he can have a candidate for referral. Oh my Gawd, this is so unethical in my humble opinion. Why keep my hopes up for something that I am not really qualified for?

I have already forgiven this company for keeping me hanging for the past few months about that Reports Analyst position I applied for. I didn't get anything for that not even "get lost". And suddenly they called me for an interview for the QA supervisor position. In which at first, I politely declined and said that I would wait for the Analyst position to be opened again (because they hired someone internally). And yet, I got another call from them saying that I should give this supervisor position a try.

Was there a miscommunication between the HR and that QA director? I mean who the hell knows? There could be a million other reasons which I shouldn't be worrying about anymore at this point. But my anxious brain can't help but overanalyze. I was just trying to make sense of this rejection.

For a moment it hurts. The interview gave me a quick dose of anxiety. And my peace was disturbed.

Wasted time. Why go through all the trouble of getting to know me that's what I am saying. The QA director could have screened my application right there and then. And not bother me at all.

Why o Why?

Ahh, I get it. Maybe she is just fishing for some info so in the end, she could reject me in a nice way. That is damn unethical.

But yeah, maybe it was Me after all. No hard feelings but...

Gawd it sucks too. I was feeling peaceful and all until I got all these job interview calls.

"What do you really want?"

I couldn't believe she asked me this. I know my resume is a bit erratic. Come on. I was jumping from one job to another, one country to another, one company to another. I was young and I didn't know what I wanted then.

I redeemed myself by saying, well, the Reports Analyst position is what my heart truly desires. Deep down, I think, don't bother me anymore. Deep down, I think, I still need a job. So, I will probably answer their calls again. Or maybe not.

Sorry about that, I just need to vent. I get the job, I don't get the job, either way, I'll live.

I just know it.