How To Make Fear Your Friend

What is fear? It is not tangible, we cannot see fear and few know where it originates from.
Through my deep investigation into fear I have come to realize that it is not real. I know that some of you reading this may have just spat your coffee on the floor thinking “how dare you say that fear is not real! You have no idea what I have been through” But hear me out for a second. As I have already said, fear is not something that we can put our hands on, it is not something that we can see so how can we know that it is real?

Well we have all experienced the feeling of fear but fear only exists in the mind and we are the only people that can believe it into existence. Fear can then dictate all that we do and steer us away from that what we want.

Ok get to the point, what is fear?

Fear is a way for the subconscious mind to help us avoid perceived danger. The subconscious is designed to keep us alive and safe but unfortunately it becomes the cause of our suffering. Let me share a story with you.

I once worked with a woman who wanted to be able to be more social and speak when with groups of people. She also worked as a lawyer but had a great deal of fear when it came to speaking her opinion or even saying no to people. She explained that she was always pleasing people and did not know why. We dived deep into her subconscious mind to see where this behavior was coming from and we were taken to a memory of when she was 6 years old. She witnessed her mother being repeatedly beaten by her father. This created a great deal of trauma. Her mother never defended herself or stood up against the man that was beating her. As a six year old she was afraid to say anything as she believed that she may receive a beating too. She also witnessed her mother being beaten and seeing her do nothing. Her mother eventually plucked up enough courage to leave her husband and the violence stopped. But now 30 years on she was still living with the trauma that she was in danger and whenever she wanted to speak her mind, her subconscious would tell her that it was not a good idea, as it believed speaking your mind resulted in potentially being beating.

And what tool would the subconscious use to communicate this message? Fear. Remember that the subconscious is designed to keep us alive and safe and it will do anything it can to do this, but where the subconscious damages our ability to be ourselves is through its generalization. To have witnessed her mother being beaten was obviously difficult as a child, but the subconscious wanted to make sure that she never experienced that danger ever again. So the subconscious recorded the event and stored it into its database of important memories. It then made sure that anything that was slightly associated with what happened when she witnessed her mother being beaten, including speaking up and saying what she thinks would be met with fear and even terror.

So as you can see, fear is actually trying to help us but 99% of the time will only dis-empower and deter us from walking our chosen path.

Fear can also be an indication that we are carry a belief that is out of alignment. So when you feel fear you can instantly think “oh, I wonder what belief has been triggered that is not true and in alignment with who I am”

So here are 3 steps that you can implement to turn you fear from your foe into you friend.

Step 1: Acknowledge
Acknowledge your fear but don’t allow it to control you. When you feel fear listen to it and acknowledge that you have heard it. Just like your best friend, brother or sister screaming at you when your just about to cross the road when there is a car coming. They are trying to protect you. But if you first hear and acknowledge their desire to warn you and help you, and then look right and left to see if there is any traffic and see that the road in empty, you will communicate back "its clear, I can cross"

Step 2: Communicate
Imagine your fear as your inner child. It is good to tune into your fear and allow whatever picture comes so that you can use this to see who you are communicating with.
you are going to say back “its ok, the road is clear I am going to cross”
This shows that you have listened to the fear but you are not allowing to dictate your decisions. This is like you are starting to educate the place where the fear is coming from, that “look there is no danger, everything is ok, It is safe for me to do what you are telling me not to”

Step 3: Take Action
Once you are listened to the fear, then chosen to do what the fear is trying to tell you not to do, you are showing the fear that it is not needed anymore. Eventually the fear fades and becomes obsolete.
Clear you mind of fearful thoughts and just go for it. The moment that you allow fear to creep back into your mind you are allowing it to become the puppet master whist you bounce around as the puppet.
Remember that fear does not stop you doing anything, it is only your belief that the fear is true that will stop you in your tracks.

Fear will keep you in a box if you allow it to. This box is designed to keep you small and “safe” but it is preventing you from being and expressing you true infinite nature.
Use these steps to train your subconscious to know that it is safe for you to step outside of your box, shatter your comfort zone and be the person that you always have been.

Thanks for reading,

Much Love