What are the factors to consider when trying to make your relationship successful?

What are the factors to consider when trying to make your relationship successful?
Many relationships crumble in the second stage of inception. Why do I call it the second stage? So often than not, it happens that a girl likes a guy, probably because of his looks or character or charisma. It could be anything. Based on reviews, everyone is beautiful to at least one person. For us to understand this second stage, we need to look at what the first stage is.
This guy, coincidentally now develops a liking for this girl also. He then makes the step to ask her out unknown to him that this girl had a liking for him. Sometimes the guy knows beforehand and many guys love it when the girl or lady likes them first. When this girl or lady accepts the invite from the guy, gradually the feelings start to merge. The guy always wants her around, she likewise. There is a magnetic pull between the two. When they’re together, they want to be in their arms. This bonding (A resultant of this magnetic pull) where everything seems too good to be true is the first stage. In this stage, they try to please the other in everyway they can. They see no flaw, no imperfection, no problem with the partner. While these things are visible, they choose to ignore it, a process facilitated by that burning flame of love they claim to share. While some relationships take time in this stage before moving to the second stage, some are actually quick to get there
So what is this second stage? This is a stage where they are now settled in the relationship. No fears of someone coming to take the other away. No more need for extra reassurances. This is the time they don’t feel they won’t live without seeing the other person. Now they see some of the flaws, some of the imperfections, some of the nonchalant attitudes. They don’t see everything though, they only see some. This is where most relationships tend to end. One finding faults in what the other does, and the other feeling that the one is no more interested in the relationship. They start feeling threatened. They start monitoring the partner, seeing more faults. All through this time, the second is feeling annoyed. Constant questioning from either the lady or the man. They start feeling there is no more space in the relationship. They always forget that they didn’t want that space (in the first stage). Now they want that space, a little more freedom, sometimes they want a little more trust. Other times, they just don’t care what the other thinks. Gradually the love they had at first wanes. Then the big news. ‘I no longer feel anything for you’ or ‘I’m no longer interested in this relationship’.
This is a constant happening; a consistent sequence in most relationships that crumble at the second stage. So what’s needed?
We’ll take a gradual look as to how to help your relationship survive this second stage

1. BE UNSELFISH
   Also known as being selfless. Being unselfish is caring about other people and thinking about their needs and wishes before your own.

How do you stay unselfish in your relationship?
From the definition, you put the other person’s interests ahead of yours. Of course it requires hard work. To be selfish is easy. In fact, very easy. A selfish person would do something and make excuses to his partner as to why that action was taken.

To be unselfish in your relationship, your mind should be set to try to avoid excuses. What helps you avoid this?
• You need to remember you’re not the only one in the relationship.
• You need to also remember we all think differently.
• You have to put the other person in the relationship foremost in your plans.
In every decision you make, be it for the benefit of your self, your partner, of both of you, involving your partner in the decision making process shows how unselfish you are.
Being unselfish is not easy. It takes time. That’s why we’ll discuss more on what being unselfish entails. Join me tomorrow as I bring to you ways of being unselfish and how best to implement them.