Spiritual Tales, Part 1.1: Aloneness

Somebody who has had a spiritual awakening may find themselves withdrawing from the world. Perhaps into meditation and study of both the inner and the perceived outer realities. Through seeking truth within and without, a spiritual seeker may start to view much of the world and the people in it as increasingly at odds with these truths.

Are you alone or are you all-one?

The default view of most cultures is that being alone is not a good thing. However, constantly being around others, it can be harder to remember our own inner voice. We can get swept up in the culture and group thinking and forget our own values. We can become so attached to the faces of others that we forget our own face.

A fear of being alone, or an aversion to loneliness, can force you into the wrong relationships, be it friendships or romantic partnerships. Some people get married to avoid being alone, only to realize decades later their mistake. What if that person truly loved you, but you were just using them so you wouldn't have to feel alone.

Perhaps the desire to be alone and the desire for company are more similar than they seem. When we are alone, we miss the company of others, and when we have the camaraderie of others, we seek aloneness. It is unfortunately the human condition to desire a state of affairs different to what we have. Why?

Clearly we think a change will make us happier. This is proven false when we make the change and are still restless. We are fed up with our marriage so we get a divorce, only to find after the initial rush of freedom that we miss our partner.

We oscillate between opposing states. Being alone v.s. being in a relationship, having money v.s. being poor, the freedom of the nomad v.s. the safety of a permanent nest. Eating healthy v.s. indulging in junk food. Drug and alcohol abuse v.s. clean and sober. Humility v.s. pride. Each time we think the opposite situation will make us better off.

And yet each time we open the gift of something new, a new extreme, a new opposite, only to find it was just fancy wrapping paper. And inside the gift wrapping there is only the seed of a new desire.

There are no easy answers here....