Still saying "Yes" to holiday stress? You don't have to! 🎄🎅🏽

in #life6 years ago

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(Mental wealth is inner richness.)

This communication technique is especially helpful during the holiday season, when obligation, duty, overwhelm, and lightly considered traditions, ABOUND.

The hard conversations that we dread, are often gateways to more authentic connection -- with our self, and with others.

Red Roping is intentionally creating a reserved space within a trusted relationship, to discuss a specified thing.

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An example of Red Roping at Christmas could be the result of your spirituality or diet evolving. This might impact how you really want to observe the day, if at all. But instead of a paradigm shift being openly and respectfully discussed, many feel the social/cultural/familial pressure to just continue with inauthentic actions, "to keep the peace."

But deception is not peaceful.

It may physically bring people together in a room, but hearts won't be united. And minutes will be counted, until people can get to where they feel the freedom to be their real self.

Why not make our important relationships that kind of place?

When you choose to Red Rope, you realize you are drawing from a finite supply, and you deem that particular topic as important and worthy.

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You are leveraging whatever credibility you have in that personal or professional relationship. If you don't have credibility within that relationship, you won't be able to Red Rope. This is because you are saying to a (likely) busy, over-worked, distracted, tired, person that:

"I see your full plate, and I still have something more to add to it."

So you need to believe it's reasonable and important enough for you to reserve space for yourself where it is already crowded. Red Rope conservatively.

Over-using it will quickly get you seen as needy, demanding, and high-maintenance. Eventually you'll be ignored and avoided... which is not the kind of sectioning-off you want!

Red Roping the right way will help the other person understand something essential about you, which will give them the chance to better know and accept you as you are. And it also often inspires the other person to share a Red Roped item, or vulnerability, of their own with you.

This simple practice sets the stage for richer relationships that can accommodate your true self, because you reserved space and voice for it.

Transforming our relationships IS transforming the world... incrementally.

Wishing you happy, honest holidays...
because we can have 'em, both! ✨

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This is a sample of the Mental Wealth Tips that will now be available each week to patrons of DefianceHouse. 👈🏽 If speaking a new world appeals to you, then please check out the vision.

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@erikaharris Always something tough to do but very much needed to set Boundaries........

Yes, @stokjockey, set boundaries and also deepen authentic connection. :-)