World Adoption Day

Today is world adoption day and I did not know that such a day exist. This has urged me to write about Andries' progress since he became part of our lives.

Andries turned 18 years old in August this year and is currently writing his final matric exams. He is writing Life Sciences paper 1 today and we pray that it will go well with him.

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Short Introduction:

Andries was born in the hospital I was working at and was already given up for adoption by his mother when she was eight months pregnant. When I gave him his first bath, I remembered the big red letters written across his file: NO BONDING I was thinking of all those institutionalized, rejected babies born in Romania, who was never given any love or attention and how they just fade away and some died without any reason. Nurturing is actually a very vital need in humans. I knew then that someone has to love him unconditionally and bond with him until we found parents to adopt him.

We soon realize that his mother never wanted him and rejected him from the moment she knew she was pregnant. From the very first day, he showed all the signs of intra-uterine rejection. He was lying in a fetal position, did not open his eyes, he was only crying - rather screaming like a cat - when he was hungry. When I heard that peculiar cry, I thought that it was his only way of survival and at that stage that was all that mattered to the baby.

I took him under my wings and decided to take over his mother's function, I talked to him, sang to him at bathtimes, took him for walks, in a pram donated to him from one of the nurses, made him aware of the birds singing, I bought bottles and clothes, because he had nothing and the government did not care if we had the means to take care of our patients, it is still like this.
After a week without a name, we decided to name him after the Doctor who took care of him in the maternity ward. We named him Andries and he became known as baby Andries.
It took about a month for Andries to show any interest in his surroundings. He recognized my voice and used to turn his head in that direction. I was very happy with the improvement and it made me very possessive of the baby. Nobody dared to neglect him when I was not on duty!

Andries and his mother were both tested positive for HIV. After two months the Sister in charge of maternity ward made arrangements with the social worker to transfer baby Andries to Cotlands, an institute for HIV/Aids children and babies in Johannesburg. I was devastated by the thought that he must become a number in a home instead of being adopted into a loving home. The social worker saw my agony and said I must let go, there is nothing that can be done.
I was constantly thinking of the parable Jesus used in, Mathew 25:35-36
'I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me'
Are we just getting rid of a problem, making it some else's problem, instead of doing something?

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It was the custom at our hospital to start the day with prayer. We prayed that God must give Andries a home instead of being a number in a home, every day we prayed, the more we prayed the more the social worker came with stacks of papers to be filled in by the Superintendent, but no parents to adopt him came to his rescue.

I told my son who was 11 years old then, that I cannot understand why God cannot give him a home, for me, it was not such an unfair prayer, it was not like praying for a new car or something. Oliver just looked at me and said; "But mom can't you see Jesus wants you to be his mother" I said to Oliver I am too old now, and he said I must not worry, Andries will see I'm old and won't ask me to play cricket. When he was 3 years old, he did ask me to play cricket!
Oliver and my husband kept on asking me to bring baby Andries for a weekend. I asked the social worker if I can take him out of the hospital for a visit and she told me that when the mother signed the forms to give him up for adoption, they forgot to complete the forms correctly, a certain article 64 was not completed, which will put the baby under the hospital's care and make the hospital responsible for the baby. We, therefore, can take him home until someone wants to adopt him. Andries is a black boy and the black people do not adopt other peoples children, they will rather take care of their own families' children.
We advertised in the newspapers and on the internet that he is for adoption, but nobody came forward. Today I know why.

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I packed all his belongings (mostly bought by me) and took him home. Within a month my husband said that this child is going nowhere. He stays just where he is.
Andries' mother passed away when he was three years old. We do not know who the father is and if he is still alive.

Eighteen years later, and Andries has grown into a handsome humble young man. He is healthy, HIV virus is still there but has not even begun to take its toll.
Andries spend his High school years as a weekly boarder. He received an award for the neatest room, this says a lot about his character. When he was in grade seven, he received a reward for the child who is always polite, humble, treat his peers and friends with respect, always helps where he can and greet people politely. He was also elected as a school prefect.

If I look back at the past 18 years, I can only say he brought such joy into our lives. What a wonderful privilege it is to love a total stranger, from a different nation and color, as if he was born into this home. I did not know that this such love is possible. I have learned so much from him, most important lesson is that there is absolutely no difference between different nations and the color of your skin. It is all about opportunities and upbringing. He taught me to look past a person's color and to see the real person instead. Thank you, Andries. We are all so proud of you for what you have become.

Andries is going to university next year to study for his BCom degree.

My prayer is this:

"Thank you, Lord, for choosing us to be Andries's parents, sisters and brother, and family

we are not worthy of this honor but are grateful to have him as a son, and brother.

We pray that you will keep on to bless him and guide him throughout his life.

We pray that you will heal him from the HIV virus, and thank you for his excellent health.

Be with him for the rest of his final exams and we pray that you will make him calm and aware of your presence.

Thank you that he accepted you as his Savior.

Let him always seek your will first Lord, and not his own"

Thank you for reading my story, follow me @frieda

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