It's never too late to show some courtesy
Whatever happened to basic politeness and manners? Have they simply become unpopular and unnecessary or are they simply not learned in the first place?
I was brought up to respect my elders, to say please and thank you and to ask permission to be excused from the dinner table. Basic manners. I also hold the door for a person following up behind me, allow people to speak without interruption and make eye contact when conversing. It's not hard and to my knowledge has never led to someone thinking less of me; Rather, it has demonstrated my quality, or so I would like to believe.
Today I was in a shop and during the transaction the attendant did not make eye contact once, not even when handing me my change and muttering, "have a nice day." It's not the first time this sort of thing has occurred. In fact I have a very low expectation on other people's manners (on people in general actually) but it kind of annoyed me today.
In the past I've held doors for people, allowed people to jump the line at the checkout if they only have an item or two, picked up something someone has dropped near me on their behalf and the like, mostly with a thank you but sometimes not. These days I see people let someone struggle with their shopping, step around them if they dropped something and let doors slam in people's faces...Do we live so deeply within our phones, text messages, Twitbooks and Instaface that we no longer need to treat each other with respect and courtesy? Maybe we are conditioned by the constant bombardment of reality TV shows where it seems the entire show is created simply to promote tension and drama between participants for the amusement of the watcher. Maybe that's where people learn their behaviour from these days.
Call me old-fashioned but I think it would be nice to see some courtesy return to our lives. Saying thank you takes no effort, nor does saying please, or holding the door for someone behind you. Try greeting people with a genuine smile, and asking after them taking the time to actually hear their response. Being courteous and polite opens doors, turns men into gentlemen and women into ladies. And as for kids? Well, they will learn from the influencers around them. Parents, teachers, television, etc. Set good examples and they will follow.
Anyway, that's it.
Bye.
Image source: scoopwhoop.com
Wow
So true, we have to do the things we expect back !
Upvoted
Thanks @ch00fy, much appreciated.
Honestly I don't care what other are doing I still do my best to be polite and gentlemanly and I strive to teach my kids to do the same.
When someone notices and acknowledges your effort is more than worth it.
Well said sir. Being polite and courteous is done for the individual, not for reward or accolade. Thanks for your comment.
I like this post, so many people have no manner. But it is even worse than this young people don't know how to interact properly. I blame the facebook generation.
Thanks @seabreeze. The younger generation have more important things to do than be courteous it seems. When I come across someone with manners though I'm drawn to them. It makes me feel more comfortable. Imagine what the world would be like if we were all 100% more courteous than we are. I think it'd be a better world.
Oh I had a bit of grumble at the shopping centre today about this. Younger generations seem to be getting more selfish, which lack of basic manners can stem from. Inconsiderate is the word. It's a cross cultural thing too. A lot of 20 something year olds will admit this themselves. There could be a variety of reasons for this but I am familiar with one personally. Back in the 80's when I was raising my kids, there was this huge push to reason with children rather than using authoritative discipline. What a crock. They're children. They don't have the reasoning abilities of an adult. I was brought up with "children should be seen and not heard" parents and beatings that were acceptable in Victorian times, and yes, that had to change, but it went too far the other way and created what we call "The Me Generation". Supernanny was great, she had some great ideas and she could teach them well because she went home to a house with no kids. This is how it happened. "Professionals" with degrees in child psychology and no kids, pontificating. I'm not bagging Supernanny and some of her techniques, I saw her get authoritative at times too. This experiment into a new way of parenting failed, because it wasn't comprehensive.
I think this mixed with violent video games which have been shown to lessen a child's ability to feel empathy have had a huge negative impact on social cohesion. And while the rights of the child are monumentally important, and so is teaching them their rights, they haven't been taught that with rights come enormous responsibilities.
Social change takes a long time and there are always unforeseen problems when renovating. As long as we can admit when we screwed up and learn from it we should get there in the end. Doesn't mean I'm prepared to take crap from whippersnappers though.
Well said @diginaut. Thanks for your comment. I doubt this situation is likely to get better than it is. I see a decline rather than an improvement.
How very sad but very true this post is. I will certainly try to teach my children these basic human interactions that we seem to be lacking these days. I think we could do with a few more role models like you around! Thank you for highlighting.
Thanks @katem, I appreciate your comments. I don't know what the answer is to be honest. I guess people need to teach children what they can and hope for the best. There's no really good role models out there these days. We live in a different world to when I was brought up (I'm 47) and manners, courtesy and respect simply don't seem to be that highly valued.