How to have vaginal sex with your partner

FAST FACTS:

During vaginal sex the penis goes into the vagina.
Foreplay is important. It gets you both sexually aroused and ready for penetrative sex. It makes vaginal sex more enjoyable for both partners.
Having vaginal sex without using a condom puts you and your partner at risk of unplanned pregnancy, contracting HIV and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
Put a condom on an erect penis before it touches or enters the vagina.
Discussing safer sex is an important part of having sex.
Sex can be a lot of fun and very pleasurable, but it’s also normal to have questions and worries. You might be thinking about having sex for the first time and are not sure where to start. Or maybe you want more information on how to make it pleasurable and safe?

Whatever your situation here are answers to some common questions about vaginal sex.

What is vaginal sex?

During vaginal sex (also known as penetrative vaginal sex, vaginal intercourse, sexual intercourse and just sex) the penis goes into the vagina.

How do you have vaginal sex?

There is no one right way of having vaginal sex, but there are a few things that you should think about before you do it.

It’s important that both people are enthusiastic about having sex and that no one is feeling pressured or forced into doing anything they don’t want to do. Asking your partner and continuing to communicate as you progress is the best way to make sure you have their consent. It should also help make the experience more pleasurable for you both.

Vaginal sex works best when both partners are aroused. This is why foreplay is important.

What is foreplay?

Foreplay (sometimes called heavy petting) is about getting both people sexually aroused (or turned on) and ready for penetrative sex, through kissing, stroking, caressing, rubbing and touching. Sometimes people also have oral sex as part of foreplay. The more aroused you both are, the better sex is likely to feel.

You’ll often know you’re getting aroused from certain physical signs:

for women, the vagina begins to moisten
men get an erection, which means their penis will get bigger and harden.
Foreplay should be enjoyable for both partners and you may choose to not go any further than this stage. Many couples enjoy having foreplay for a long time before they move on to having vaginal sex.

If you are both ready to have vaginal sex, the arousal created through foreplay will help the penis enter the vagina more easily.

We spent ages on foreplay, kissing, fingering and lots of oral as it was both of our first times. When we did decide to have sex, we used a condom and lots of lube and he was very gentle, kept asking me if he was hurting me and how I felt. It did hurt a bit, but not as much as I was expecting.

• May

When should I put on a condom?

Once you are both aroused and ready to have sex you can put on a male condom. This can be done by you or your partner. You can only put a condom on an erect penis and you should do this before the penis touches or enters the vagina.

If you are using a female condom it can be put in up to eight hours before sex.

How do you get the penis into the vagina?

When you are ready, it helps if one of you uses your hand to gently guide the penis into the vagina. Take your time, and don’t worry if it takes a few goes to guide it in properly – this is very normal, especially when you are both getting used to each other’s bodies.

Once the penis is inside, you can move your bodies so that the penis pushes into the vagina and then pulls partly out again. Do what comes naturally and feels good - being slow and gentle is a good idea to start with so you can make sure you are both comfortable.