What makes you You? Does the past hold you back or helps you? PART1

Does your past define your future in a positive or in a negative way?

They say that everything happens for a reason. 

Is it true or just another cliche saying to soothe us?

Depends on your way of thinking, I believe. Depends on how you want to look at everything that happened in your life up to this point. Of course, it is always easier to view every negative occurrence as a punishment. But how could you not? Us humans like to give reason to everything, so our mind and soul can be in peace, or to be more precise we like to blame others and wallow in misery. 

But do we really like to blame others just for the sake of it or sometimes there are truly other persons to blame?

That is the question that everyone has to answer to themselves.

Our life was hard from the moment we were born, through our childhood, our teenage years and it is still hard, but finally, we can really do something about it and we are sure as hell do it.

What do you do when you are a little kid in first grade and your teacher starts to bully you?

Your school years are a critical part of your life. It is that point where a lot of things that happens makes such a big impact on you that it starts to mold you into the kind of person you are going to be years from there. Shouldn't you be looking up to that person, trying to lean on and go to them when you have problems either big or small or questions?

What happens when those in our society, who are supposed to be a pillar for moral fails us?

I tell you what happens!

• You get confused. 
• You start to doubt yourself.
• You start to act out.
• You talk back to others.
• Your grades start to get worse and worse.
• And you lose respect for pretty much everyone around you.

This memory is definitely NEGATIVE because not one child should doubt themselves, because of an adult. They need to help the children grow up, show them what is right and what is wrong, so their mind can adjust to the demands of our modern society. 

What are the long-term effects?

I wish that it was so easy to answer, but our experiences differ from each other and I can only answer it from my point of view.

Imagine being a very bright, full of life kid, who likes to make friends everywhere he goes. You like math, you love to tinker with electronic things from a very, very young age and you always sat down with your big sister to "help her study". You could hardly wait to start first grade and start school. And then a few months after you have started first grade the teacher starts to make snide comments, start to criticise you, say mean things to you. It confuses you at first because you are the quickest in math class and even that earns you bad points with your teacher and she starts to complain about it to your mother. 

Seriously? Is it really a bad thing that you are quick and you learn everything easily?

After a while that confusion from the beginning turns to frustration. You get easily frustrated and it might sound funny that a kid get's frustrated easily for every little thing, but it's anything but! Because that frustration turns into anger and resentment. And anger is a very dangerous feeling for a kid to feel on an almost daily basis.

With anger you lose respect for the adults around you, hence the reason why you don't listen to them. If someone whom you are supposed to look up to is being disrespectful towards you, then
that person sets a very bad and negative example for you and as a kid that is what you are going to feel almost "normal". 

And you became a "nightmare". 

You act out, start to lose focus and don't care about school, about your parents, your family, you start to get mouthy. You make friends harder because you feel like everyone is out there to get you, to put you down, to criticise you. 

That is a harsh and f-d up reality check for a child. 

And your teenage years will only be worse. That is a guarantee because that confusion will not only stay along with the anger but it will multiply.

At this point, like I've said many times you are confused, angry and alone. You are very lonely, because it affects your social life, furthermore other kids are start to bully you, because they feel empowered by the teacher to do it and they do it in school, in karate class, at basketball practice, everywhere.

And that is the point when everything starts to go downhill for you for at least for a good few years if not for the rest of your life. Trust me. Because of this my life was full downs from this point on that sometimes I've wondered if I will see the next day.

And yes, at this age every bad experience you have can feel like a punishment that you believe you must have deserved
because there is no other explanation. But only because you don't know better yet! But the only thing that happened is that important people failed ME, big time. And I had to take responsibility for it ALONE.

As Rafiki said: 

The past can hurt. But the way I see it YOU can either RUN from it or LEARN from it.

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Take care of yourself and those around you!

N&R