The Dark Side of Achievement

The Dark Side of Achievement

We live in a world where we’ve always been praised for our accomplishments, from a baby’s first words to its first steps to high school graduation and beyond. When we achieved something growing up we were nearly always met with positive reinforcement. Completing a school project or performing a song, learning a musical instrument, cleaning your room and the list could go on. You’re probably wondering how there could be a dark side to achievement when everything on that list seems to be beneficial in our lives. Allow me to tell you my story briefly, growing up as an achiever.

I spent my life between ages 10 to 19 constantly accomplishing something. I was in a band at a young age with my older brother, made 4 albums, played hundreds of concerts, started another band, played more shows, made another album, started another band, played even more shows, produced a record by myself, got into film making, made a 2 hour documentary for charity, directed and produce 3 short films, made over 200 comedy YouTube videos, built a business with my brother and hosted a podcast with over 50 episodes, all while graduating high school, learned how to build computers, do animations and skateboard all before the age of 20. This is not to brag by the way, and you’ll understand in a moment. Due to all these accomplishments I was made into a person who was extremely depressed, never satisfied and extremely lonely. Why? Because the ego always wants more. This is one of the most dangerous ideas the ego tells us “you are what you do”.

Even though I was accomplishing so much, still I was depressed because I if I slowed down, the ego would make sure I stay on the treadmill of achievement. That I never stop and relax, that my standards are always high. Have you ever felt sad so you cleaned your room or distracted yourself with some sort of accomplishment? Not the most common way of dealing with sadness but it exists. What I’m trying to say is there is a dark side to achievement, a part of you that feels the need to accomplish something or learn something new because you identify with the list of things you’ve done, because in makes you more valuable in the eyes of others. On the surface this doesn’t seem like an issue but its keeping you from living your life from your higher self or true self. Its keeping you from real long term happiness, not a quick ego high which is followed by a depressing low.

All that achieving made me never want to stop. I was basically addicted to accomplishing and learning. Unfortunately we are human beings, we get exhausted. First thing I did when I was too exhausted to keep up with my standards of achieving was drink alcohol. I would get together with my friends with the sole purpose of no longer being sober, of escaping reality, numbing the ego and it was fun! But it was simultaneously destroying my life and it had to come to an end. I’ve since quit drinking completely and began focusing on what truly matters to me, not what I accomplish, but what I give.

Through meditation and discipline I was able to completely let go. I am now at peace without accomplishing anything! I just said to myself “I DON’T WANT TO DO ANYTHING WITH MY LIFE!” The weird thing is, I am now achieving much more, helping others and having fun along the way. I guess moral of this story is to simply let go and reflect on why you might be putting all your time towards achieving something that might not matter or that is stressing you out. Letting go to me means following your heart. I very much suggest a meditation practice to become more in tune with that part of yourself. You’ll find you don’t have to be a slave to your ego, you can actually relax and feel at peace for once. I know this “dark side of achieving” isn’t necessarily a big part of everyone’s lives, but it affects all of us on some level. Whether you’re trying to keep up an image, or feel more valuable when you achieve more. You may come to realize that we are all equal, no one is a more important person than the next. You will also come to realize that it does not matter what others think of you.