Feeling alone

I could be surrounded by numerous people and still feel alone. it's dark and cloudy in my head. It's hard to focus, even with the laughter in the background, all I hear is my own heart beating. It takes me awhile to open up to people but when I do, I blindly open up completely to them. I allow myself to be vulnerable. My weakness.

I always thought I would be single for long, never to go into any serious relationship until I met my now girlfriend. Things were good. I wasn't lonely as much, she was there giving me comfort with her presence but in the last few days she has been distant. I tried to call, she didn't have much words for me, I texted, she asked for space, I'm therefore now back to square one. Alone; my heart pulls my body down with this heavy feeling. I try not to rely on people, I tell myself I'm enough to make myself happy, but then I still have this lowly and lonely feeling.