What's wrong with fairy tale beginnings?

Once upon a time, though I don’t really understand how something can be upon a time, or that what follows only happened once- actually, I'm not really sure what follows yet. We should probably figure that out before we consider whether or not it only happened once. yet. what. Alright, now that we've established _that what follows yet, we can get around to thinking about how many times it happened. yet. what. Alright, I suppose we'll just have to adjust that one.

Now where were we? Ah yes, the beginning. Let's try this again. Twice upon a time- wait a second. Who says it only happened twice? All right. At least twice upon a time, or maybe it was a thyme, I never actually saw it written down. Although upon a thyme wouldn't really fit grammatically, so maybe it should just be upon a time. Although I already pointed out that I don't see how that works either, so... maybe it was upon some thyme? I'm not sure why that would be significant, but at least it works out grammatically. Which is more than what can be said for most of your moms!

(I don't know what that means. Or why you would have enough moms that we'd talk about most of them.)

Soo... At least twice upon some thyme, in a land far, far away- wait a second. Alright. Did you wait? You probably didn't, you seem like a very rude person. So just wait another five seconds to make up for it. Anyways. Why would you say a land far, far away? Isn't at least one of those 'far's redundant, or repetitive, or extraneous, or extra, or at least unnecessary? Or repetitive? And what do you mean by a land far, far away? That's extremely vague, considering that almost everything is relative. Some days, the next room over seems like a land far, far away.

Be that as it may, I think I can safely say, that this phrasing makes no sense, and now I feel rather tense. I'm not sure why I'm rhyming, or how to do this timing, I just hope it all works out, before I lose all my clout. What is this clout I speak of, does it fly like a dove, I'm getting rather desperate, and stuff.

Alright. Now that we’ve finished with that nonsense, we can move on to some other nonsense. Why would we move on from that nonsense, you may ask. No? You won’t ask? Well, in that case, I’ll… just move on with my life then, won’t I? What? You want me to stop asking you rhetorical questions? Too bad.

At this point, I should stop beating a dead horse, mostly because why on earth would I want to beat a dead horse, or a live one for that matter? I’m not really sure why I started beating this dead horse in the first place. Maybe he said something about my mother?

Anyways. They say not to look a gift horse in the mouth, though I don’t really know why you’d want to look any horse in the mouth. People who do so are apt to have their faces bitten off, which I’ve heard is rather painful. And no, I’m not going to tell you where I heard that from. Why would I tell you something like that?

Demonic horse which may bite your face off. Source: Mikael Kristenson on Unsplash!

At this point I think it’s time to say goodbye, at least until the voices in my head get a bit more creative. Until then-

-hyperbole out

p.s. – Sorry for vanishing, I lost my flash-drive which I thought contained my only copy of the passwords to my STEEM account. Which was rather annoying, but I anonymously read most of your posts and made do with that, until just recently when I found a copy of my passwords saved in a file on an old computer in my parents’ house which I’d forgotten existed. Yes, according to that sentence I forgot my parents’ house existed. I don’t know, maybe I thought they lived with my brother? I really need to work on my sentence structure.