4 years and counting... | Gratefulness

4 years ago today, we brought our CDH son home. 4 years ago today, I could not even think of how our future would be like. 4 years ago today, I was fearful of death, paranoid of many things. Fear had gripped my soul. But not so anymore.

Looking back, I had learned so much being a CDH mom and tubie mom. Being grateful of life and never take for granted any moment, any second, any minute is the greatest lesson which supercedes all the challenges in the world. Challenges is inevitable. But how we look at them determine how are we going to chart the future.

I could be fearful of germs, knowing that certain virus would cause him his life and we hid forever at home. But I could choose to be fearless, and made do with what I had and let my son lived as normal life as possible. We practised absolute hygiene. We avoided crowded malls. We tried going out on less peak hour. So on and so forth.

Challenges and obstacles only mean one thing - we have set our bar higher and we emerge stronger after that.

I learn one thing from my son. To live life to the fullest. Fearless. I know this all along but I see him doing it everyday. It is so natural of him to want to live every single second meaningful. He doesn't see himself as frail. He sees himself as Power Rangers. He sees himself as Spiderman who is joyful always. That was what he told me.

He endures pain and then he goes about jumping again. As if the pain never existed. He went through fear (fear of doctors and needles and tubes) but he continues enjoying his life with no fear paralysing him. I grow with him and I break free from the chain of fear. Because no matter how I am so scared of him dying, that is not going to change any circumstances, so why not ask fear to lose its grip on me and I live my life happy, bold and positive. That is better. No more suffocating from fear.

No matter what challenges you face today, know that it is not a setback but you have actually set your bar higher and you will be stronger than before. People who goes to gym to build their muscle need to increase the weight in order to gain more muscle. That is setting his or her bar higher.

Have a great weekend and I will be off from my mobile phone awhile because today is my precious family time.

See you next time. Keep steeming, don't give up.

Love, Jade💕

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