Kindness - how to use your middle finger

As a traveler we often, as you can guess, meet new people. Every new hostel is a new home, every new home is shared with roommates you didn’t choose. Every new roommate is a chance to get to know yourself better and of course the nature of humans in general. 

When you live in a Hostel, you not just have people from all sorts of different countries, but also from all different kinds of social standards. 

Nontheless, even if you can’t understand a word another person is speaking, sometimes you still have this feeling of: “hmm, I kind of do like this person”

Vulnerability 

Traveling is beautiful, but it can also be brutal. You have to trust strangers, you have to trust yourself and, about privacy, we don’t even want to talk about.

But what happens, is the beauty of vulnerability in the unknown. We all don‘t quite know what we’re doing, and we’re doing it to have an inspiring time, to find out what we want, to see the country and so on. 

And to be honest, it’s not just traveling when people don’t really know what to do. Everything I just said could be transferred to life in general as well. They say: “One of the worlds dirtiest secrets is, no one really is an adult.”

And it’s true. As I am getting older, into the ages when I thought I would have figured it all out already, I kind of realize that the adults I knew as a child, are actually not so different to me now. 

They struggle with relationship issues, with fulfilling their life purpose and basically trying to find out who they are. Fun fact is: probably most of them never do. 

In my eyes the people who are the kindest are the ones who faced their own vulnerability, their own limits, the pain they received. The people who’ve been shut down the most brutal, know exactly how it is to be all by yourself, hopeless, open and exposed to a situation you didn’t want to end up in. 

Overcoming your Traumas and seeing the good you learned because of it at the end, is a game changer when it comes to your ability to be kind. 

Selflove

This is something we heard at least a trillion times and to be honest I could write a book about this topic and I am fairly sure that at some point I will. 

“How you treat yourself is how you teach others to treat you.”

Why is this true? 

If people see that you’re taking care of yourself, in terms of:

• A healthy Body
• Thriving Relationships
• Ambition/ Goals

Just to name a few, they’re much more likely to respect you, just because they see that you’re respecting yourself. 

So a simple law of attraction kicks in which says: Be kind to yourself and people will be kind to you. 

Treating yourself right is so much more important then you could imagine. Appreciate the person you are is a massive game changer. To be clear: I am not talking about the social-standard of a well behaved, successful person who goes to the gym everyday at five in the morning so he can grind his ass off all day, but rather someone who is in inner peace with himself. Someone who likes who they are, no matter what society thinks they should or shouldn't be. 

And that really is just the start.

Your special finger

So what I get a lot is:

• ”Issi you’re not realistic. People are assholes.”
• ”Why should people care, they only care about themselves.”
• ”This […], and that […] happened to me. I will never forget.”

you have a special power that lays in all of us, and now listen closely, because it‘s really important:

Just, excuse my language, don’t give a fuck. 

If people have hurt you, stop holding on to it. If people don’t care; brilliant! You’re Free.

Use your attention-energy for the things that have value for you. Show everything and everyone your humorous middle finger if they make fun of you. Do your thing, do what you love, go after your dreams regardless of what everyone else is thinking. 

Being kind to yourself is always priority number one, and if treating yourself right means to tell a few people to “Fuck-off”, that is totally okay for me. 

There is just one trap you should be careful of, what goes around comes back around, so make sure that you are acting in your highest potential and wisdom, free from ego or false pride. Otherwise you could be strangled up in your own self-justice very quickly. 

What do you think, what is the most important thing when it comes to being kind to yourself and others?

Do you struggle with something like this in daily life? 

Let me know