It Is Time We Close Old Homes and Bring Our Old Buddies Back to Where They Belong
You might have often heard that once you grow old you sort of become a kid again, or that childhood and old age have lots of things in common, or some other variation of this quote. This is because at both stages of life you are dependent on others to get things done. As a little kid you need your parents for everything. They take care of all your needs, feed you and clothe you and bring you up with love and kindness. In somewhat similar fashion, when you are old you are once again dependent on the help of others as your body does not have the same strength and stamina to get things done like you used to in your days of youth.
In all honesty, being old is not exactly easy in this day and age. The direction that modern life has taken, no one relishes or looks forward to that stage of life. You might also have heard that the contemporary world is a young person’s world. Be it with regard to work or anything else, the oldies, today, are dealt a pretty lousy hand.
Old age is arguably one of the most critical stages in a person’s life. It is the ‘age of problems’; be it social, physical, mental, or even economical. And the treatment that old people have to face at the hands of the youth today also raises many concerns and even alarms. At a time when they need our love and care and patience the most, we tend to ship them off to some old home to bide their time until the Lord comes calling. Modern life with its materialistic and rather selfish nature has altered many things, one of them being the focus and emphasis on family. In years gone by, the elderly persons of a family were not just respected but revered. Particularly when they reached that age of dependence on their children and young ones, they used to be well cared for and could live out their days in peace and comfort.
Sadly, that is far from being the case today for most of us. Our elderly are a burden at best and their care is something that we either reluctantly perform or just get them admitted to some old-age home.
You think it stops here? What is even more painful is how parents do everything to care for their children in the best possible way and provide them facilities they can afford. They don’t even think of their children as a burden. Yet, those same children turn their backs on their parents when they need them most. Where the parents might have spent many sleepless nights taking care of their little ones, changing their diapers and singing countless lullabies in the wee hours of the night to put them to sleep; those same children cannot seem to provide them a little bit of space in their house for a good night’s sleep.
You’d agree this is a pretty sad state of affairs. This is not a problem concerning just one country or society or region of the world, this is a universal phenomenon.
Another thing that has been observed in recent times is that old people who are lucky enough not to end up in retirement homes tend to live by dividing their time living with their children. For example, an old couple with three sons will live with all three of them for four months each. At first glance, you might be misled into thinking that this is an exhibition of the love and respect that the children have for their parents. However, in reality this is a way for the children to share the burden of accommodating their old parents.
While there is no denying that old-age homes serve a purpose and provide a great service to humanity, we really need to rethink how we treat our elders. Old homes can be great for people with no offspring having no one to live with. But for the majority of them who are left there by uncaring and disrespectful children, a lot of soul-searching is needed.
Don’t delude yourself into thinking, it’s about one society or country or region of the world. This is a question of universal human dignity and a plea for compassion for an age-group that deserves peace and comfort at this stage of life.
While outright shutting down of all old homes is not exactly the solution, however, it really is high time for us to bring our old buddies back home and give them that tiny bit of love and attention that they may have been craving for some time. Let’s promise today, we will be compassionate with them to make their farewell peaceful. It’s time we bring our old buddies back to where they belong.
Yes, you are right. I really feel like we do very big unjustice with the old people when we send them to old houses and don't take care of them. It is the time when they need us otherwise they take care of us their whole life.
There is a maxim in Korea, true love always flows to downstream only.
In addition, a person who can help others does not really help others. Rather, there are more people who can not.
Yes, I fully agree this is universal. However, I'll do my best to bring my and wife's parents to my house.
Comparing the care of children and elderly makes me wonder if we should convert retirement homes to “schools” where buses take them in the morning and drop them back home. This way we can continue to work and come home together.
As someone who has visited a few "old homes" for lack of a better description, I have seen the good and bad side. For those that can afford it, a well maintained center is one of the best things for someone who may otherwise not have access to a natural community. Either way, it is going to be one of the major challenges of this century.
@jasimg
There are really two sides to the story here. Often what happens is quite different from the common notion of 'children not caring for parents and thus dumping them in old age homes'.
I have an uncle and an aunt (both in their mid to late seventies)- he suffers from various ailments including general memory loss while she is a full blown Azheimer's patient. One son of theirs passed away early and their surviving daughter lives in a far-away country with her family and comes to visit every year or so.
Uncle is adamant about not leaving the country to stay with his daughter because he likes the familiarity of his village and country and the daughter can't leave her family and come back in the situation.. She had been paying for a full-time nurse at their home but a nurse can't take of all needs. Uncle is often delusional and does insane stuff (he gave away thousands without realising who he gives money - he still accesses his bank account and has good savings).. Aunt walks out from home when nobody's looking and search parties have to be sent to find her..
The daughter was paying far more to keep a fulltime nurse who can't take care of all their needs than it would take to keep them in an old-age home where there is somebody to always watch them..
And yet the negativity associated with 'dumping parents' in old-age homes is what stops her from doing it when she can't take care of her parents herself.....
Recently the nurse left and they can't find a new full-time nurse to replace her.. if something were to happen to uncle and aunt, people woulnd't find out till it was too late because there's nobody around (they live in an independent villa within a large compound)..
The best situation would be to get them to live in an old age home (you have excellent ones that provide good care at the right price) but the stigma attached it is what stops the daughter from that drastic step..
There are many others who genuinely need to be in such an institution because it is in their best interests... especially when they dont have children or anybody staying with them.. And people need to realise that not all people living in such are are parents abandoned by children
I couldn't agree more with this! I will say that it is not necessarily totally universal though. There are definitely different cultures that respect the elderly much more than western culture. Japan is a great example. There aren't an abundance of care homes in Japan because many families live together and their parents/grandparents live with them. This idea of isolation is a fairly new one. It is extraordinarily prevalent in the United States, where everyone has this driving desire to move as far away from their family as possible. I suppose this started when people began to move West and settle. I think it's sad.
I personally feel responsible for my parents. They are not incapable by any means, but I have turned down many opportunities to leave my home city in order to remain by them, to enjoy their grandkids and to help them when they need assistance. I feel like it's the least I can do for the time they gave up for me at the peak of their lives. I definitely think I am in the minority though!
This was a really nice article! Thanks for posting.
Very well work done it’s just priceless to love the parents 🔥🔥
"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself."
Well, Thanks for such a nice article Dear.
Love from Rebica <3
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I have both my parents with me until their last breath. We MUST value them until their last days because of the struggles they did for us when we were young.
Thank you @jasimg for sharing this.