Emotions

in #life8 years ago


Hey everyone.
Sorry it's been so long since I've posted anything. Real life has been kicking my butt and coming up with original writing content on a frequent basis proved much harder than I anticipated. Just writing today as an outlet I guess. I would like to sort through some emotions through this annonymous channel without actually putting them on paper.
I have recently been contacted via Facebook by my old best friend/ex-boyfriend from back when I was a teenager. I wish words could describe how close he and I were at one point in time. We could talk for hours and be ourselves around each other whether we were dating or whether we were in friend zone at the time. I have not seen him in 16 years. The last time I saw him there was a huge blow up because I went to go hang out with him as I normally did but I brought along my new boyfriend at the time (which is now my husband). Yes, he knew we were both coming but mix two egos with a dash of alcohol and you get trouble! While talking on the phone to my old friend it is easy to realize that we haven't missed a beat. We talked just like we did all those years ago. No silences, no awkward moments, just talked. It was truely amazing to pick up essentially where we left off and he says he takes full responsibility for what happened the last time we saw each other and that he hasn't been able to forgive himself for it. He actually thought the reason I hadn't talked to him in so long was because of what happened, which looking back wasn't even that huge of an issue, but the truth is I never talked to him after that because I had no way to get a hold of him. I would never be the type to contact his parents to track him down especially since I was in another relationship at the time. Maybe I should have...I have missed him so much and I want to cry just thinking about the fact that I was nowhere in his life when his mama died, when his daughters were born, and through all the hard stuff that we all go through that you should have your best friend for.
It turns out that he still lives in the general area that we both grew up in, so next time I go home to visit my family, my husband and I plan to stop and see him as well. I hope it won't be too awkward for either one of them but feel like I must see what was my best friend ever after all these years.

@jennane