How to avoid isolation after moving to another country
My story as an immigrant started two years ago when I fled from Ukraine to the United Kingdom. Despite people saying that it’s going to be hard and challenging, I enjoyed every step of it. I’ve been told stories by strangers about people who didn’t fit, couldn’t find a job or a partner. At some point, it seemed that nobody is truly happy abroad.
Was moving a challenge? Definitely. Was it a hard one? I wouldn’t say so. As I’ve started to talk to more and more immigrants during these two years, I figured out that I missed a particular sort of a struggle that apparently everyone I know from Ukraine has experienced. It was the lack of quality communication.
Language barrier had a place in my case, but meeting new people was never a problem. Within the first two months, I met more than 60 people and started shaping my surroundings. I wasn’t great at networking, so it wasn't for my personality advantage. I also realised that most of my friends abroad were surrounded by people who spoke their first language. I didn’t pay attention at first, but the more people started mentioning their circle, the more I was puzzled because it was so different to mine.
So what leads to isolation in immigration? When it comes to moving to another country, it requires stepping out of the comfort zone. If we look at Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, we will see that ‘Belonging’ would be the third stage right after ‘Safety’ and ‘Physiological’ needs. By Maslow, if an individual wants to take the next step, he needs to satisfy the previous one, in our case ‘Safety’.
Leaving the apartment and exposing yourself to the world means letting go the security blanket. As Keith Ferrazzi said: ‘Every conversation you have is an invitation to risk revealing the real you’, but being fearless won’t solve the whole problem. Some of my acquaintances have fantastic communication skills, but most of them are unsatisfied with their surroundings. They lack people they like.
And then I realised that a cornerstone of my success was a community based on mutual interest. The same day I moved to London I went out to meet people who enjoy dancing as much as I do. Because of a very specific interest, talking to everyone was very engaging. There was no place awkward silence because both sides had common ground and enjoyed exchanging experiences. Undoubtedly, people encounter different mentalities and social norms across the globe, but mutual interest always holds a value.
If you are looking to improving your networking skills you can follow the links below to find videos and books that I find very useful:
'Never Eat Alone' by Keith Ferrazzi
'The Definitive Book of Body Language' by Allan Pease and Barbara Pease
'How to Win Friends and Influence People' by Dale Carnegie
This is quite inspiring. I can only imagine the courage it must have taken to leave your home with your friends and family. I am glad you could easily make friends. It makes adapting to your new country less stressful
Great post. I loved your story. I have moved many times in my life to different parts of the US, and had similar experiences. I love meeting new people so much, but it is hard not to have a history with people at first. Getting together with people who have shared interests is the way to build relationships fairly quickly. Good post, good for you! Upvoted, resteemed and followed you @jerboa
An inspiring story!
I think-- in many ways-- we find what we look for. If we believe it is going to be hard and lonely, it will be hard and lonely. If we believe it will go well... it goes well. Most of the time.
I'm an expat from Denmark living in the USA... I have lived in many other countries, as well; I'm with you, I never felt like the experience was particularly isolating. But you have to get out there and make yourself be part of the local culture in your new adopted homeland.
I agree. It might be a matter of perspective.
awww what an amazing journey! Welcome to the UK! I have lots of friends that have moved here from other countries and I love to learn about their cultures and even get them to teach me a little of their language too! For example I can ask my polish friends if they would like a coffee in polish lol
Your written English is fantastic, so I can only imagine that your spoken English is the same. Well done for taking a leap of faith, I have the up most respect for you :D
Thank you for your kind words @beautifulbullies. The UK is a very diverse and amazing place to live, I love it! Thumbs up for Polish skills :D
Thank you! Actually now I think about it, I had a Ukranian maths teacher at school! He used to do Ukrainian dancing in his spare time and put he on a show for us once, it was amazing!
tip!
I dont know what never eating alone is about but I have noticed I am much happier at my job when I eat with co workers at work and sometimes outside. Glad youve found the transition the be a success.
Hahah, it's about expanding your contact list but yes, sharing a meal in a good company can be rewarding indeed :)
Living in an entirely new place is a sweet challenge. I found that you get to discover yourself more in depth. You have the sense of freedom and you are in total charge. Make the best of it, explore, have conversations, meet people and you just might meet yourself.!
Congratulations @jerboa, this post is the second most rewarded post (based on pending payouts) in the last 12 hours written by a User account holder (accounts that hold between 0.1 and 1.0 Mega Vests). The total number of posts by User account holders during this period was 1081 and the total pending payments to posts in this category was $2112.82. To see the full list of highest paid posts across all accounts categories, click here.
If you do not wish to receive these messages in future, please reply stop to this comment.
After living out of my homeland for 15 years, I can relate to your story. Depending on which country you go to, the challenges as well as the opportunities are somewhat different. I have lived in 4 continents and I could never imagine a more adventurous life had I stayed home.
Wow.