The first life-changing experience of tripping in hell (Psychedelic read, met the Devil himself) True story: Part 1

Hello, I'm a 19 year old young man from a from Estonia and I'll be telling stories about my psychedelic experiences that have left me in the dark.. alone.. facing my deepest fears and running from the true self that I really am.
I want to stay anonymous on that part because I think it is not important for you to know my name and bio as they are experiences. For the next few posts I'll be describing what happened, how it happened and how I continued forward with my life (it hasn't even started yet!) ending it all with a conclusion and suggestions how to keep yourself safe if you decide to go on a journey to explore your mind. Psychedelics are not something that you do in a party or to just ''get high''. They are passages to other realms of being and dimensions.

English isn't my native language so I might be missing out comas and have some other errors but please, let the feeling of judgement flow through you.
You may think that oh.. what could possibly such a youngster have experienced but I suggest you approach to it open-mindedly as it was truly a life-changing experience for me. In this post I'll try to recall the situation that I was in and hopefully, you loving psychonauts, can take something out of it.

As Jim Morrison once said: “Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and the fear of freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” 

 With that.. I shall begin. 

It was the end of August if I can remember correctly and me with some other friends decided to take a 200mcg of pure LSD (I took the full dose of that amount and other friends took half) and smoke some weed beforehand in my basement. To give you an idea how my basement looks like - it is really ugly, the floors are cracked if you walk into this room, it feels like you're on a sea. There is no even place on the floor (it goes up and down) and also it smells funny because of all the sweage pipes that run across the walls. You can even hear when teh sewage water with the shit and piss is running through, but hey.. atleast the room got a big table and chairs so thats good. The room was firstly used as an apartment meetups so people could come together and decide what they should do next with the complex. As we came together that evening to ''trip out and chill'' and play cards, drink some beer and then go clubbing.

 I was 16 at this point so there was only 1 club to go to and It was called Chicago. Chicago was a place where everyone went after clubs to listen shitty music and get hammered before sleeping and where everyone that had done drugs meet up. It was like an after-party place all in red colours and I translated at that time that it was the place where the Underworld meets and It wasn't long before i realized why i thought that way towards the club. But I must not jump ahead..

So 3 of us are sitting in the basement(lets call one dude L and the other guy P), playing cards, drinking, having ''fun'' for about 2-3 hours and we start feeling the  LSD. We get a call from a guy we know from our area telling he has some MDMA. Youngsters as we were, we decided to go and grab the opportunity. We weren't really thinking is it safe or how to ingest those 2 substances together so we just ''went with the flow'' and decided to meet up with the guy. PS: The long 4-meter desk that we were playing on, collapsed at one point and together with that my psyche did also, but that comes later. Here comes the part that I do not remember. It seemed like a 25 minute blackout, but I remember that we were walking to another apartement complex to meet someone (who, I can't recall) but there was a feeling of overwhelming power and greed creeping up to me and those 2 other guys that I was with, felt like they were my partners in crime, that I really love and needed to keep them safe from all the outer evil that may occur that night. I was pretty sure that something was going to go down, but what, i didn't know. Fast forward 25 minutes, we get a call to go to a rental place that had a party to send a few guys away to Australia. When we were walking towards the place along the beachside, there was mist everywhere. It was so thick that you couldn't see 5 ft ahead of you. Street lights were lightly shading from the magical mist. The atmospfhere seemed glorious and mystical but behind that majestical glance was a dark undertone. I remember thinking, there is something big going on. And when we reached the bridge I told my other 2 friends to stay there, I will go forward alone. When i reached the house, everyone was tripping out. Big eyes, fast movements, and no sense of hospitality only hostility. There was like 50-60 people, some of them were drunk driving, yelling etc. I was told that the guy who had the M wasn't there anymore but the guy I was meeting with had 150mg of it left, paid him, left, met with friends, went back to my basement. Along the the way we went to L's house for whatever reason and then back to my basement. We sat down to a broken table and when L tries to takes out the MDMA(I gave the bag to L, i don't remember why), it was missing. So we panic and start thinking where It might be. We come to a conclusion that L had dropped the bag, when he went home for a second so he went to search for it when we just sat in quietness. L comes back and told that he really had dropped the bag (the clue that we shouldn't have done this). We divide the 150mg to 3 pieces ingest it. FW 45 minutes we start feeling the effects and decide to go to the club I described beforehand. It might have been 4-5 hours in with the LSD so we were on a comedown. It was too late for us to take the MDMA, but we did it anyway. You should normally take M when you are maybe an hour in to LSD trip to peak at the same time, but we didn't know that. So we went to the club and I was just like taken away from the hateful energies of that place. It's a dark place to be for a 16 year old kid with no developed sense of self and immideately I was the darkness himself. We sat down and though to myself that these people are NOTHING, I could easily manipulate with them and place them under myself I was just staring at them, how they spoke, looked and thought. There were thoughts that told me, that I was the greatest of them all and I could achieve more than they ever could in terms of drug dealing because some of them were dealers. It's hard to describe what I felt at that time, but the feeling of overwhelming power was so big that I could not control it. A lot of the people there, were just coming from the house party I went earlier and many of them were tripping hard. You could instantly tell it. I went to the smoking room and there was this large 50 year old finnish guy and some other dudes. I started asking for cigarettes from that finnish guy and started distributing all the cigs he gave me. I didn't smoke once on that evening. Gave them all away in hopes of influencing them to like me somehow (fucked up). He wasn't the only guy I asked cigs from. In total I gave away like 20 of them to different people and then everyone left. There was just this guy I knew before, a prior friend I could say and also this finnish guy. I was sitting and the fin wants to buy me a drink I say no and he leaves. Then he comes back and says to me: I WANT TO FUCK YOU IN THE FACE! I was astonished what he did just say to me. I jumped up - a 65kg 16 year old guy vs 50 year old 120kg guy faced him and told if he doesn't get the FUCK away from me I will promise I will kill him. I told him that and gave him 10 seconds to leave. My other friend who was in that room jumped up and came to us and also told him to fuck off and he left instantly. I was fking wordless when it had occured and then went back to the main place of the club to find my friends. They were just spectating the whole club with hawk-like eyes and I asked if they wanna go. They said yes. We went back to my basement and it was a 5 o clock in the morning. We sat down behind the desk L and P facing towards me. And I start speaking about how we could control the Estonia and in the future the whole world. I started saying and describing how it would play out who does what and who goes where. The plan was to smuggle coke through Portugal into Estonia and flush the streets with it. The sense that it was possible made me believe it. I started giving out instructions about how L and P are going to make connections in fight clubs etc.. Imagine a 16 year old speaking that plan for 4 hours. And I predicted, that everything starts next winter. (And funny thing is, something happened next winter, a change in conciousness, but more from that in the upcoming stories.) My friends just listened and said nothing. I had a full lighter with me and I emptied it in that time just playing with it and then I was also playing with a card. I told my friends to pull 1 card from the deck without knowing what the card was. My card was 6. I asked L and P to show throw the cards unto the table and guess what there was... that right.. 6 6 6. Fucking hell..... I started sensing the darkness that was in that basement.. the sounds.. the smells.. everything just fitted right in and after the 4 hours when there was nothing left to say we stood up, went outside and went home. When I went to bed I couldn't sleep. Just stared the wall and saw satan's claws and horn on my wall. I have to remind you that the time was 9 in the morning and the effects of both MDMA and LSD had worn off some time ago. After 2hours of just thinking about what just happened I drifted off to sleep.. But the story didn't end there...
If you wish to know what happened afterwards.. then just let me know down on the comment section below. If you have any questions, let me know. 

The other upcoming parts will explain the situation and my life a little further. 

Hope you enjoyed the 1st part and I beg you, if you start experimenting with psychedelics, do them in a controlled set and setting. They have so much potential in healing you and I will come across the stories how I have used the psychedelic treatment in resolving childhood traumas and integrating the knowledge that I have taking from altered states of conciousness.
 

Love, Peace & Anarchy!