RE: Good Intentions - Not Just a Sketch
My intention is to comment, "Yes! You are so brilliant. Without the courage to explore ourselves that deeply, we can never live within our integrity. And that is the problem of the ages...you went right to the root, in my humble opinion."
But my secret motivation, that I write so much about (most secret to me, of course, and more obvious to others), is to curry favor with you - Beauty that makes beauty. Now, I could map out the process and the needs, increasingly less noble and childlike, but there is more gold to be found along the path than there is at its conclusion and apparent goal. So all I'll do is point and say, "I went that way."
Thanks for reflecting. Again, I'm pretty stoked about finding your blog! I really like the part of me that I see in you. It's something that I've never accepted.
Shedding light on things makes all the difference!
Hey there! So you are back!
I may be or at least seem brilliant in retrospect, but, let me tell you, the path to "brilliance" is not always an elegant one!! :P
It's important to have catlike reflexes, always land on one's feet, and on goes the journey...
What exactly is that something for you?
Hey! I am! I've been in third world America, and it is always a trip.
"I may be or at least seem brilliant in retrospect, but, let me tell you, the path to "brilliance" is not always an elegant one!! :P
It's important to have catlike reflexes, always land on one's feet, and on goes the journey..."
-...Or at least to be able to heal quickly! My path to this point in my life wasn't always the most glorious or virtuous. I think that maybe I don't require so much effort at this stage...maybe it's much more about alignment. We'll see!
That something is a thing that I'm still working out. If I could paint it, I think I would just have to admit later that I saw the image in a print some time back - a boy looking forward into an ankh, and inside the hoop in the ankh is the image of a girl. But what does that mean to me? Is it that there are things about ourselves that only certain people are permitted to reflect? Is their appreciation and favor validating us? Is it something much bigger than validation even? I'm not sure, but I've seen people at their worst, me included, over the loss of that when a relationship is over.
Maybe a better image to try to flesh this out would be your version of The Star.
If you represent the archetype of desirable for me, it's in some hermetic refinement. Words tinged with undercurrents of universes opening to the point that words aren't fast enough, aren't big enough, and only glyphs remain...imagery straight to feeling...like experience is to understanding? Hot. But not the way I would say it...the way an Egyptian god would say it. And if I stack that entire giant load onto your poor, innocent self, and you favor me - my creations - then some part of me that I haven't yet connected to, that something that you reflect, favors me.
That isn't fair at all, of course. But I can admire you for being as human as you are, and for being as brilliant as the past has made you. Looking at myself from that lens, and looking at you from this lens, I get my integrity as my intentions align with my motivations. Motivations align with intentions.
You are an intense and moving reflection. Stirring. Powerful. Desirable... I've never fully accepted the artist within me like I can accept her within you.
Hah....
(and I have to begin a reply to something like this with a "Hah..:" in order to mellow down or neutralize some of your words, at least somewhat. That way a dialogue is possible.
The dialogue interests me as the particular topic you have started here coincides with many thoughts and musings, and even conversations I've been having recently with close people.)
Actually... I'll let it marinate for a bit this time. That makes room for the emergence of more, and also trumps thinking.
For real!! That response is way heavy. It didn't take very long to type, but it did take a long time for me to press "post." It needed some time for me to sit with it...hit it from a different perspective, or frame of mind. I didn't feel that it was "appropriate" in this forum, but in the end I threw caution into the wind, left it as it was written (double checked for misspellings), and sent that puppy into the permanence in the ethers of this blockchain. Oh my.
Lately, I've been trusting synchronicity much more.
This is a different approach on the subject than I've taken before. What I worked on last winter was about manifestation and diety and concepts of dieties. Authenticity. Self knowledge. Integrity. I guess this angle is just as valid, or even more so, than discussing dieties, or archetypes in that sense. It just doesn't feel quite as polite and acceptable though. Not for public consumption! Haha!
But shouldn't it be discussed? My paradigm didn't include anything like this as I grew up in the 80s. Think about it. Think about the secular, popular music of the 80s... It was the worst advice ever! Ten years of lyrics about obsessing, stalking, and claiming women like property. Sting made an entire career out of it! (OK, it may not be fair to ascribe all that to The Police, but some of their songs make my point) I know that it's funny for me to think about, but it is also true. And very alarming.
The day before my last trip I suddenly had an idea. It was already cooking for a while, "in the fog", things were coming from different directions, I was going to write a text, but then I had too much to say, so I was going to paint, as well as write.
I thought about cancelling the trip, the urge to paint was that grand!
Then, I wrote down some thoughts, 4 pages of thoughts blurted unto digital paper, allowing me to go on a trip, and return to this some other day.
Everything I had to say had 100% to do with the manifestation of deities and archetypes in our life.
So there is another synchronicity for you.
Some people appear in our life for a reason, and while it can be a very important reason, it may not necessarily be what we first think it is. It could also be that my physical appearance, if I represent an archetype for you (and wow, what a huge thing to say!), is merely because you should be paying attention to me, but who knows for what reason, you know?
There are things I am currently trying to figure out in my life.. and I know the answer will come soon. Things are coming, from different directions, all aimed towards one meeting point. I see some of those things, others I hear approaching, but I don't yet see the meeting point, where it all connects.
It will get revealed soon enough.
Speaking of music, and the 80's....
You've been nominated!
Haha! You're awesome! I accept your nomination.
"There are things I am currently trying to figure out in my life...It will get revealed soon enough."
-That, and everything you wrote between those words? Total synchronicity! Soon enough...
I think I should be paying attention too. But you're right - who knows for what reason(s)? I haven't read any of your writing from your website yet, so I should probably start there. Or...maybe I've already started. "Things coming, from different directions, all aimed towards one meeting point." That's a place I'm very comfortable in. Sometimes being utterly literal is too slow and small, and often I'd just as soon be in that place, spinning my own reflections into yarns. Maybe a foreign tune is in my head in the first moments of a day. Some rhythm. And then maybe some fragments of writing...spoonfuls of thought...and often I hope that is as deep as it takes me. I see some of the threads and connections, and am either bold or ignorant to weave them in with my own threads. Same satisfaction watching them come together as watching them come undone.
I'd love to see those blurted thoughts!