Right Back at You, Babe

I have this annoying habit that my children have to live with. I always park far away from the intended location. I don’t know how to parallel park (I am waiting for the autonomous vehicles) and mostly I don’t want to have to work too hard at parking the car. I try to find the spots where I just lazily pull up (I don’t mind walking). Keep this fact in mind because it will be relevant later on in the story.

I had a crappy day at work a few days ago which does not happen often anymore because I hardly work. It had been so long since I had had a miserable day and I was not coping well. I was not in the mood to cook so I took my youngest with me to pick up some sub sandwiches.

I think she was a little unnerved by my supreme crabbiness because it doesn’t happen very often. She couldn’t stand it so she started saying things to cheer me up.

“Think about everything you have in your life to be grateful for. You have the power to choose how you respond to things.” For a brief moment, I thought I was having a good impact on my daughter. Then:

“It sucks doesn’t it, to be told those things when everything is going wrong. You don’t want to hear those useless Yoda messages during those times.”

I burst out laughing and the mood was broken and I was all good again. I think Veronique was secretly pleased that she was able to get me out of my funk.

A similar situation unfolded with my older daughter when she was in Grade 4. She was getting all Bs. I didn’t mind the marks, but it was the fact that she wasn’t even trying. When she talked about herself, she was always talking about how sporty she was and how much she loved sports.

One day, I tried to broach the topic gently with her. “You know Genevieve, you can be sporty and smart at the same time. Mommy’s worried that you think of yourself so much as a sporty person that you don’t see that you are not doing your best in school. You don’t have to knock it out of the park, either. You take your favorite subject, like Math, and fix yourself an easily achievable objective; like I’m going to get a B+. By setting some small realistic objectives all along the way, you will achieve the much larger goal. Before you know it, you will get all As!”

Her eyes were glazing over. So I dropped it. I never brought it up again.

A few months later, we were getting out of the car together to go to the store. I had parked particularly far away. She has a glint in her eye and a slight smile.

She turns to me and says in a complete deadpan voice, “You know, mom, if I had to give you a grade on your parking, I would have to give you a D+. I’m worried that that you think of yourself as a bad car parker so much that you don’t make any effort in this area. You don’t have to knock it out of the park, either. Next time you park, try to be within half a kilometre of where we need to be. That would be an achievable objective for you. The next time after that, try to be within 400 metres. By setting some small realistic objectives all along the way, you will achieve the much larger goal before you know it, which is to park close to where we need to be like all the other mommies do. Then you could get an A-!”

Right back at you, babe.

Image courtesy of Pixabay