A South African in Russia...

While Sting lamented about being an Englishman in New York, for me it's being a South African in Russia. Well, I'm not lamenting. Not exactly. Perhaps some background may be in order.

I left South Africa, on a temporary basis, to be a cruise ship photographer in early 2009. The resulting travels took me to various countries on several ships. Thus I found myself on Cunard's Queen Elizabeth towards the latter part of 2011.

With about a month and a half left on my contract, I was asked by a Russian violinist if she could add me as a friend on Facebook. Being of the geeky/nerdy type, I had to overcome my natural awkwardness long enough to say yes. Subsequently I worked up enough courage to ask her out. Long story short, we dated, got engaged and married and our son turned six months old recently.

As we have settled in Russia instead of South Africa (no real opportunities for violinists there...), I've had to adapt the most. The resulting culture shock drove home a few realizations - things I knew in a theoretical, intellectual kind of way but had limited first-hand experience of. Being from the melting pot that is South Africa helped a bit; for instance, I was already used to hearing languages I didn't understand. Nevertheless, relocating to the other side of the equator has left its mark.

For one thing, I realized that compared to Russian and even English, Afrikaans is grammatically a rather simplistic language...

So, why write about this now? Well, my wife's urging had a lot to do with it. She argues that, at the very least, someone might get a laugh out of it. Also, an experience I had a bit more than a year and a half ago, when I went back to cruise ships for one last contract...

It was an ordinary night on the ship - several photographers were spread out around various locations, attempting to entice the guests to have some photos taken. It was a casual night, so the going was slow and occasionally a guest would strike up a conversation. Being thus engaged with a guest, the conversation drifted to where I'm from, a topic most guests seem to find fascinating. Of course, I stated that I'm from South Africa, but now I live in Russia. Naturally this person, after making a disparaging comment or two, wanted to know why, to which I replied that I'm married to a Russian...

"Oh, a mail-order bride!"

Now on top of finding it very disagreeable, hurtful even, I thought it was very ignorant, especially since no attempt was made at obtaining more information or insight into my situation. This ignorance prompted my response, for which I duly got into trouble with the higher-ups:

"No sir, she is not. She is, in fact, a classically-trained violinist and has been playing the violin since the age of six. What have you done so far? Played on your PlayStation?"

Bad things happen when reasonable folk get pushed to the edge...

See, I understand that we all have our preconceptions and prejudices. We all, from time to time, fall into the trap of assuming things. At that point I've had my fill of a certain type of arrogance and let rip, where perhaps I could have asked why this person made that assumption. Perhaps we all should try a bit harder to understand.

With this in mind, I'd like to share with you my experiences here in Russia, to shed some light on the country and its inhabitants, to show that people are people wherever we go, and perhaps to have a laugh or two along the way. How an almost ordinary South African, in an unusual way, came to be in an unusual country...