Puppies and Changing Dreams
Life sure is humbling.
It's interesting watching my dreams shift into different versions of themselves... Witnessing as I grow into the next version of me.
Last time I posted I was going to start teaching yoga and begin fostering rescue dogs. Here's an update. And some really cute puppy pics.
We'll get to the puppy thing in a minute.
I'm still planning to teach yoga from my home, utilizing the living room we designed to double as a studio. However, the classes have to wait until there are railings on my deck, because insurance would likely have a fit if I had people here with things as they are, even if they aren't going to be on the deck.
Yoga postponed.
We have been working on this house (and the ongoing saga of the deck) for six years.
The good news: I've finally felt up to working on the house again, so between my partner being able to work all freaking day and night when he has days off, and me helping as I can, we're getting some things done around here.
Now, to the puppy.
Here's Hope, the foster puppy who was with me for a brief but wonderful time.
Two weeks ago she was in a high-kill shelter in California. I think she came out of L.A. Which would explain why she acted like the forested terrain she visited on our hikes was completely new.
I am so glad the rescue I'm working with saved her!
She's smart, sweet, loving, playful, and adorable as all get out.
Here's what I posted on Facebook when I got her:
PUPPY PICTURES! This is Hope, who I'm fostering.
Hope is such a sweetheart. She listens well, is smart and eager to please, and has been great with my kids! She has made friends with my cat. She chases him if he runs, but just wants to play and is very gentle with her mouth with everyone, cat included. Leaves things alone when told. Overall she's a little star. If I had to guess, I'd say Jack Russell terrier mix. Her coat looks like a lab, but she's closer to the size of a Jack Russell, just a little bigger. 8 month old puppy. I love her. She deserves the very best forever home.
Hope got spoiled in the best possible way. She liked her new toys, and loved the cat. Toby cat liked her, and wanted to play with her, but she kept sticking her nose in his face, and he wasn't sure about that. He also didn't like being kept out of my room because I had to sleep with Hope in there with the door shut. And wake up at dawn to let her out.
Most nights she slept quiet, but last night she woke up probably ten times with a low bark or grumble because Toby cat kept trying to get in.
Hope is beautiful. She's a little larger than a Jack Russell, with peaches and cream fur that reminded me of a lab. Such a great size. So soft.
Hope got to go on hikes and lots of walks where she got comfortable walking on leash. We went on adventures with the kids on their strider bikes. She did awesome, didn't even chase them.
My time as a puppy foster mom lasted a week.
Today I brought her back to the rescue mama's house where she will be in good company with other dogs. I really think she needs that K9 company to satisfy her own needs for play and feeling comfortable. An unrelated trip to the hospital for one of my children two nights ago (everyone is fine) made me realize I just couldn't meet everyone's needs.
My honest assessment was I'm not the right foster home for a puppy. Hope has a couple of applications for adoption in, so I'm sure she'll find a wonderful home soon. It was a great experience for my kids and myself, and we gave the puppy lots of love and walks and helped her learn some things, but boundaries, right?
Life is so humbling.
Things I've learned:
I need sleep. No puppies for me.
I can help the rescue in other ways (looks like I'll be lending a hand with fundraising and processing applications.)
The best dog for me would be one that could qualify as an Emotional Support Animal. I need to lower my anxiety levels, not raise them.
Accepting myself as I am is an ongoing process and I'm actually doing pretty good at it.
Hope enjoyed herself much of the time she was here.
That said, she was stressed about some things and so was I. Overall, I think the experience was a good one for everyone, and I also know I made the right decision taking Hope back so she could be more comfortable with her surroundings.
Though I'm sad that I'm not able to foster animals at this time, I'm resisting the urge to allow myself to feel like a failure. I'm optimistic that I can still help the rescue organization. I'm also getting clearer about what kind of dog I would be able to adopt, which helps me manifest that situation.
I'm working on being clear around needs, boundaries, and changing habits—like biting off more than I can chew on a regular basis. I'm not giving up on my desire to help animals, just changing what that looks like.
Seeing @rhondak's success with rescue dogs who have support jobs, I'm hoping I can find a dog who specializes in lowering anxiety. Another friend messaged me and said her dog does just that. My guess is @saffisara's Bobby is much the same.
I trust that there's a dog out there for me who can be a loving, calming companion without being as much work as another child. In the meantime, I have some work to do on this house. ;)
Thanks for reading, and thank you sincerely to everyone who comments. I wasn't able to respond to comments on my last post, but I read every one. I haven't had time to write or play guitar or anything else, but I've been focusing on family and being a great mom, and that's number one! :)
Dragon art commissioned from Liiga Smilshkalne.
Great that you are finding out what suits you best! There is nothing worse than trying to be something that you just aren't happy being!
It's pretty weird that you would need railings for the yoga... I guess you have a slightly different litigation culture than Europe... although, someone did explain to me that all the common law (?) countries (Anglosphere...) are more prone to this sort of suing than the other type (I forgot what it was called...)!
And now I know what a "strider bike" is, as we didn't have those when i was a child or a young-parent... 😂
Ha! I don't know if I had strider bikes when I was young, but they're a thing now. And yes, it was a positive experience all around, but at the end I realized she was getting more stressed than I wanted, and I just wasn't able to sleep or do the things that needed to be done. Lesson learned. Always growing.
animals are lacking judgement.... we look after them and love them.. they love us back and give their company as a gift.... said typing around a sleeping cat.
Indeed! And cats are such wonderful companions. :) Mine is glad to be allowed back in my room at night so he can sleep on me again.
they really don't like their routines being changed by others. That aspect of them is great for keeping humans sort of on track. Rough life they have managing us.
I will really love to meet hope one day
She is a sweet pup, for sure.
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Oh, man. Nice looking puppy.
I tried a Jack Russell rescue. I was utterly prepared for the energy (I'm your basic type b) and had him for 2 months. What I couldn't take, and couldn't cure was his separation anxiety. I knew it couldn't go on when I walked to the laundromat in the RV park-and he shit in my bed before I could get back.
You need Sam. But he isn't available :) I've had him near two years now and just haven't had a problem. With anything. He is just a joy to be around all day every day. There's a doggy for you, no doubt in my mind.
Keep on keeping on, my friend. There is no doubt in my mind that the world needs you....
Oh the separation anxiety. Yes. She has that. Wanted to be with me all the time but couldn't quite keep herself out of trouble, because puppy. She hated the crate, and when I left her in the bathroom to go to the hospital with my kids she chewed the doorframe a little. I'm totally not worried about the damage and am not surprised, but it's a lot to take. I know someone will love her and help her and give her what she needs.
I'm so glad you have Sam, and that he has you. I'm sure I'll find a more mature K9 friend who is content to just be, and is more support than work. Until then, I do what I can and enjoy sleeping all the way through the night! Last night one of my boys had a bad dream and crawled into bed with me. I didn't have to get up to let out a puppy, just covered him up and went back to sleep. So nice! :)
I think that it is awesome that you took Hope in when there was the need and basically you could have been the home that saved her.
The fact that you couldn't do it forever doesn't negate the fact that you put yourself out there to help another. Your heart is so big, you don't even realize that it needs to protect itself too. Slow down, you're moving too fast.
Life is about to change yet again and when does school start (or did it already?)
Oh, life never waits for me to get ready for it. It just keeps marching on.
Have a super Sunday, my friend!
Love to you!
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THIS! Yes, the boys go into kindergarten on Sept 3, and turn five that week too! I don't know if I saved Hope, but I helped, and we did some fun things. I learned, she learned, the kids learned a lot, too. And now I'm teetering between "maybe I shouldn't get a dog at all" and "I need a little dog who can hide in a backpack or purse and come everywhere with me like a sidekick." I feel like my life is one big game of being pulled in two directions. C'est la vie.
Yes to the "slow down, you're moving too fast." I'm trying, but I'm hard-wired to be productive. And apparently I'm hard-wired to want to help animals, too. Been that way my whole life. When I was young, I wanted to "adopt" all the stuffed animals in stores because they were lonely and needed homes. HA!
I hope you have a wonderful day. Thanks for your kind, thoughtful presence in my life.
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Thanks for sharing, @katrina-ariel! As for myself, I feel that I will always be a work in progress. And the path to accomplish what I think I want... is never straight. And yup... it is so very humbling.
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Indeed. The path keeps twisting and showing us new places to grow.
We are where we are now because of those twists and turns. Despite many things that we cannot control, somehow everything works out for the best. And that experience always gives me reason never to lose hope and to keep on aspiring.
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