Absolutely people blow off steam in their free time. That's part of the reason for the high alcoholism rate. But compared to Americans, they are much less likely to get aggressive when they drink. That's a plus.

Their politeness is intertwined and codependent with their stress. They HAVE to be polite. The nail that sticks up gets hammered down.

As a foreigner, I will never be seen as Japanese, nor expected to act Japanese. I do my best to not let their stress affect me. I am outside of their societal games. I am like the zen monk at the edge of the road. And anyone who takes classes at my small English school knows they are free to let go and express themselves without fear of being ostracized. I try to let them see Japanese society and human society in general for what it is - a complex game that we have little choice but to participate in, but that can be changed by changing the way we think, little by little.

I have an elderly woman that I teach once a week. She was complaining about the stress of having to clean out her neighborhood sewer system with people from her neighborhood. It's an obligatory duty she can't refuse. I mentioned how in other countries the norm is to hire people for that kind of work. It's something that's hazardous to human health and should be handled by professionals. In the big cities of Japan, it is handled by professionals. Then I got into the idea that it's her city, and she should join the local city council and bring up this fact. And she wholeheartedly agreed, but I don't know yet whether she will voice her opinion. I can't make her do anything, I can only show her the possibilities.

Tradition is a double edged sword here. There are beautiful traditions that produce amazing art, and then there are millions of people doing things that society tells them to do because that's the way it's always been done, regardless of whether it makes any sense.