A new perspective for when someone tells you to “smile”, or when you would like to offer it to someone looking sad.
To the waitress who told me to “smile” during a 3 hour layover at the airport (and to anyone else that has said this or been on the receiving end). I love you sister, and I appreciate your good intentions but I would like to offer a new perspective on those intentions. I may have looked tired and worn out to you as I waited to board my 4th flight in the last 24 hours, but honey, it wasn’t just the tiredness and the stress of a 17+ hour journey (last minute flights can be a bummer) that was weighing over my smile. There was a whole lot more to my story then what may have been visible on the surface.
Picture taken by yours truly ❤
What you may not have sensed, was that I just experienced immense trauma and this journey was very challenging for me. My life had been threatened with a shotgun by someone I loved, and I had to leave everything I knew just a few days before this trip. I have been fighting back tears for days, and you actually caught me when I was able to find peace from them for a moment while I attempted to eat.
added the, “smile!” as you passed me the check the tears and memories flooded back in. Trust me, I want to be smiling, and I have been trying my best to do so. I loveee to smile, but sometimes it is hard, and there is no pleasure in faking a smile.
Asking me to smile made me feel like I was not doing good enough, not strong enough. I think we all would benefit by just sending out a smile to someone in need rather than telling them to “smile!” : )
A few days after the airport I was at the phone store getting a few things situated, I was still very emotional and I certainly did not have happiness written all over me as I often do. The woman who was helping me noticed the tears I was fighting and she offered a “try to have a good day” at the end of my visit. That was nice and made me smile, but maybe a change of words, perhaps an “I hope you have a great day”. Think about how your words may affect someone in a sensitive situation. By using “I hope” it offers a more positive hopeful vibe, where “try to” offers some uncertainty and expectations. Either way I am grateful for both of you ladies.
And hey, I’m guilty too. I have done it to others when I have seen them upset, I may not always choose the best words, but this experience has made me rethink using that phrase to others going through a hard time. Perhaps by offering a smile, a hug if you’re close to that person, or an ear to listen to would make the person on the receiving end feel even better, and less like they are not doing enough in an already uncomfortable situation.
We are all beautiful, powerful and strong.
May we continue to smile and spread light and compassion to one another.
I love you all ❤
I offer you the beauty of music and a quote for inspiration and compassion ...
"Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can't cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. It's just there and you have to survive, you have to endure it. You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it, and run as far as you can in the direction of you happiest dreams, across the bridge that was built for your desire to heal. " - Cheryl Strayed
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