Closing the Door on 15 Years of Veganism for my Health.
I tried so hard to fight it. I tried consuming only vegan protein while battling IC and PCOS, but eventually it became clear that my body would not be healthy if I consumed abundant amounts of triggers.
Soy flares my IC so once soy was out I was like okay, but I got this and so I bought 10lbs of nooch and 5lbs of hemp seed. Nooch flares my IC. Hemp flares my IBS. I ate every combo of beans, nuts, seeds, and veggies while analyzing lists of vegan proteins, they ALL triggered either my IBS or my IC. So, at 12am I told Greg I HAD to start eating fish. The reason I didn't eat meat for 15 years was moral but at what point do I have to step aside and place my own life above that of the fish?
I still plan to avoid land animals and dairy. Dairy is actually bad for IBS too. I may, however, consider eggs once I feel well enough to get myself to a farmer's market. But I won't be buying eggs that come from factory farms. I am holding onto as many of my moral life decisions as I can and consuming the bare minimum animal protein from the least intelligent animals I can. Although, mussels are about the dumbest sea animal I could find and proved too gross for me to eat.
So, we went to Perkins at 12am and I ordered a garlic salmon filet which may not be 100% IC friendly but I knew the first time I had fish someone else had to prepare it and bring it out or I would get squeamish and back out. So, I sat at Perkins waiting in disgusted anticipation to get my first bite of fish in my life out of the way.
It took me a long time to put the first bite in my mouth but once I did I was surprised by how it wasn't all that gross. My only issue honestly has been breaking down the mental barriers. For 15 years I said "I will be vegan until I die" and I meant it and imagining it wasn't hard because I didn't feel deprived and didn't even see dairy and meat as food. It disgusted me to smell and see. It's easy to say you will never eat meat again when you are healthy but once your body is riddled with auto-immune diseases that limit what you can consume in a SERIOUS way, you'll change your tune. So, here I was having to break down all those walls I had built. Having to rewrite "Fish are friends not food". Having to eat my friends. I got a bit sad eating the salmon thinking about live salmon but again, my choices were to put myself above fish or to give up and die and I don't plan to die.
The next day I decided to jump right into the deep end and have raw fish.
That was....disgusting. Much worse than the cooked salmon filet. I was only able to choke down 4 pieces and it took me a LONG time to get those 4 pieces down. I figured now that I had tackled RAW fish the next fish I tried would surely be easier to consume.
Boy, was I ....wrong. The next fish I ate was canned tuna. Mind you, it was from the health food section and looked and smelled much better than the chicken of the sea tuna. It was canned skipjack. And, no, I don't like buying $4 canned tuna even though I do like that it's sustainably caught with no nets, but the reason I bought it is because all other tuna contains soy now and I can't eat soy.
So, I had skipjack and green beans for lunch on day 3 and a new friend of mine watched in amusement as I tortured myself and very slowly ate an entire can of tuna.
Many of my friends who actually enjoy seafood commented on how they would not want to eat plain canned tuna. Sadly, with IC and IBS I don't have the luxury of condiments, sauces, spreads, or dressings. I have plain fish and vegetables.
Tonight, I will either be eating canned health food section salmon or cooking pollock at home. I would like to try to tackle cooking my own fish as much as it disgusts me.
I definitely will no longer be over-eating as I can barely get my meals down now and part of me is definitely hoping that in a year or so after I have found the right meds and healed my bladder and bowels and am feeling healthy I can try out soy and beans and see how my body likes them and stop eating fish but right now I know I have to eat it and right now is all that matters, eh? Who's to say I will even be here to complain about eating fish in a few years?
I hope to be blogging more again now that I have some mild relief from my medication. I also plan to start 2 new meds in 4 weeks. So, I will be updating on that. Right now, I hate my meds and feel like crap. I am zombified and sleep until 3 pm every day no matter how early I go to bed. I haven't had the nerve to weigh myself to see if I have the horrible weight gain 70% of people experience. But, I am dedicated to getting better. I cut out booze, smokes, started meds, and am even eating fish now. My health comes first!
Selfie I took while waiting to go eat raw fish. I like it so I am plopping it here.
Hate to tell you but if you have IBS then your gut is damaged. The only way to heal your gut is to remove food that is hard to digest for 6 months to 2 years.
The hardest foods to digest are grains, beans and nuts which basically means that being a vegan and healing is pretty much impossible.
The very best food to heal your gut is bone stock (collagen, gelatin), so my advice to you is to start boiling fish bones and consume the stock in soup/stew/gravy at least 3 times per week.
The bones should be boiled until they are soft and the stock should be like jelly when it's in the fridge.
I know being vegan is impossible right now that is why I am stopped being vegan. I don't think I will be eating bone stock though. I can heal my gut with the diet I am currently on and plenty of time and patience.
Also I am not saying your advice is bad. I just really don't see myself following it.
I know fish bone broth must be an alien concept to you after being vegan!
The trouble with a vegan diet is that to be healthy you have to consume vast quantities of food, which can be incredibly expensive.
If you look at what a gorilla eats you will have some idea of the quantities you should have been consuming. The thing is a gorilla has a huge stomach compared to a human, so as a human you need to juice like crazy to obtain the same vitamins and minerals as the gorilla but without all the bulk.
It is possible to be an extremely healthy vegan but most people do it wrong and their health gradually suffers over decades and leaky gut is one of the common problems (in some vegetarians too.)
All the best. X
Years ago I was allergic to everything too.....not anymore but I had to cut a lot of food out no introduce one type of organic food at a time to see what cause my bladder/kidney infections and gallbladder pancreas attacks...I hope you find relief soon 🦋
Yeah I am assuming in time I will be able to go back to a diet that suits my morals. I feel this is temporary while I heal and find all my triggers. :)
I avoid soy even the I love making soybean curd from scratch, even now I only eat it made from scratch a couple times a year....soybean unless fermented has antigens that trigger histamines and it's the largest crop that's been genetically altered to withstand glyphosate which really screw with my body. ...
oh my that would be a big pain isnt it ? :(
Yeah it was hard but I was literally dying and the doctors couldn't help me. 😞
too see yourself dieing and seeing nobody can help is the worst situation of the life 😓
I got pissed off just like our friend @lauralemons and decided I would fix myself instead of being in pain. I started researching symptoms and this lead me on a 25 year journey to health.
ohh GOD Bless you my friend <3 u made a great path for your own you saved your life <3 well thats all GOD things that gaved you thought to do for you own <3 when there is a will there is a way <3
I also used to be vegan, but had to stop because of health reasons. I have hypothyroidism and not eating meat (especially red meat) messed with my iron and vit B deficiency. Now I'm eating meat again and funny enough salmon is my ultimate favourite food. 😄 Great post. Really enjoyed reading this!
Take care. I also had to give up veganism for health reasons. Don't feel guilty. You have the right to exist as a human being.
I will still feel guilty. It is not so easy for me to just turn off my emotions but I know it's what I need at this time so I will continue on this path.
Great article of a personal struggle with health and morality. Also, one that I can relate to, minus the veganism.
Several years ago, I became fairly suddenly ill. I gained weight had no energy and was struggling with IBS and other conditions.
I have a friend who is also a physician, and when I mentioned my recent and sudden health issues, he suggested I get tested for food allergies, using the blood test instead of the scratch test. The results...
I was allergic to Brewers yeast, bananas, yogurt, egg whites and oatmeal. For health reasons, this was a lot of my diet.
With in weeks of finding out about the food allergies, the excess weight came off and I started feeling better.
One sentence my friend said stuck with me. If you are having digestive issues and your digestive system is irritated and inflamed it is because you are putting things in that are aggravating it. Find out what those things are and stop doing it.
People with IBS have damaged guts and if they heal their gut much of their food intolerance disappears.
The GAPS diet explains how to heal your gut. it was devised by a doctor. I've outlined it in a comment below.
The thing is right now almost everything aggravates either my IBS or IC because my bladder is all open wounds. I am eating very, very bland now only from the safe list. The amount of foods I can eat is so limited right now but I have no doubt that once my bladder heals more foods will open up. :)
Thanks for sharing your story! I had to just be honest that a lot of the things bothering me were vegan and that the only solution is to add at least fish into my diet for the time being. :)
I have some excess weight to drop off too but I know that'll happen now that I am on this diet. Even if the meds can cause weight gain.
Nice selfie. I do seared ahi tuna once or twice a week, it helps the whole family with IBS. Of course everyone has different effects from different foods but it's tuna and it's really not quite raw not quite cooked, and not nearly as irritating to me as canned.
This canned I don't think will irritate me. It is just tuna, water, and salt. It doesn't have added crap like in the other canned tuna. :> But I may end up trying ahi tuna as a friend has already suggested it.
Take care and don't worry - your health is above other things!
Exactly! I still may be a little sad and not enjoy this time but I AM putting myself first. :)
Good luck with everything @lauralemons. You are a beautiful lady, I love that selfie! I am putting you on my prayer list. Blessings!
Thank you. <3 <3 <3
aww been a while, but glad to see that things are going better! :) Good to see so many positive changes in your life.
Not really going better yet. Very little help thus far with meds and feeling pretty much terrible.
Sorry to hear about your battles with PCOS - one of my closest friends has that and I know it can be a nightmare. I don't have PCOS but I do have endometriosis which can also be a nightmare at times with the amount of abdominal pain.
While maybe not all "vegan" food is the easiest on our digestive system, there are still plenty of foods that can actually have amazing healing properties for you. Soy is something that I think all vegans, with IBS/PCOS or not, should limit themselves to. I try to stay away from most soy based vegan products. However, the natural vegan foods this planet intended for us to eat can have amazing effects on your body. I'm sure being vegan for 15 years you know this but maybe check out some different vegan options that can positively help you! Feeding your body something that it hasn't been used to for so long might show some negative effects sooner or later. For me, having a vegan lifestyle has made all of my endo symptoms soooo much easier to tolerate and sometimes not even noticeable. Another suggestion - take a look into CBD oil and possibly mixing that into your foods or there are even topical salves for the body that can definitely help with pain relief!!!
Regardless, best of luck to healing and feeling better! :)
It would be easy being vegan with PCOS the issue is interstitial cystitis and IBS. Most vegetables I now cannot eat, no beans, no seeds, no nuts, grains are rough, and I can't have almost any fruits. So vegan is certainly not good for my body right now.
and believe me when I say I tried really hard for the last 2 years to stay vegan. Tried every combo I could to meet my needs and stay vegan but either my bladder was bleeding or my butt was bleeding when I made a bowel movement. I already feel better after just 5 days of this new albeit gross diet.
As long as you are feeling better and able to cope is what matters most right now! That's good to hear that you are seeing some improvement. Definitely check out some CBD products though if thats of any interest to you. It can work miracles for so many issues and could be something you might really benefit from!