Stupid is as Stupid Does

It's 3AM and I'm smoking cigarettes on the back porch while everyone is asleep. I've asked the dogs to be quiet as they frollick the yard and to my surprise they've obliged. I hate that I've been smoking for the past month, but people drive me crazy.

Life's not what I thought it'd be clearly. It's not just the thought that I wanted love so badly that I somehow convinced myself I had fallen in love with an 18 year old - which, for god's sake, I'm almost 30.

My cousin told me God loves us so much that when we've fallen behind he'll find a way to push us forward even if it means dragging us through. I'd say I needed to get shit on to wake up a bit.

I'm moving on out on my own again in the near future, depending on my job situation. My company I'm working as a temp for was purchased for a lot of money; I'm hoping I land a job there - if it's where God wants me to be.

I've been going to church and changing in some ways. Seeing myself a bit differently, but being careful not to lose myself. As hard as it is to trust, God is in control of most things.

Still been thinking about the woman from my first job here my age. Was it anything at all or was it just stupid is as stupid does.