- Be available. Make meals. Clean house, run errands. Care for the other children.
- Express your genuine fellow feelings and grief sorrow at their loss.
- Let them express their feelings and grief as they see fit.
- Encourage them to be patient with themselves and not to demand too much from themselves
- Allow them to talk about the lost child as much as they wish, and you talk about the endearing qualities of the child.
- Give special attention to the childs brother and sisters for whatever length of time it is necessary.
- Relieve them of guilt feelings. Reassure them that they did all they could. Highlight whatever else you know to be true and positive about the care they gave
What to avoid.
- Don't avoid them because you are uncomfortable. Just sympathetic hug is better than absence.
- Don't say you know how they feel unless you have lost a child too.
- Don't be judgmental or tell them what they should feel or do.
- Don't become silent when they mention their dead child. And don't be afraid to mention the child- they want to hear good things about him/her.
- Don't draw sham conclusion or lesson to be learned from the loss of the child. In their grief, there is no silver lining to this cloud.
- Don't remind them that at least they have other child or can have more. No other child is a substitute or replacement.
- Don't add to their guilt feelings by looking for faults in the home or hospital care.
- Don't be religious platitude that put the blame or God. Hope I make sense a little
