Love or Lust?

Damn .
Love or Lust?
Damn.
Love or Lust?
The brief internal debate ceases and the song, “Love” by Kendrick Lamar officially begins. The trials of the good, bad, and the ugly of love begins. The internal debate is ideally forgotten and the musical ride begins. Your heartstrings are tugged if you’re alone . You stop mid-super complicated homework problem and do a stiff jig you wouldn't dare do outside of your room.
If you’re at a party with your boo, you hope they get over their awkwardness about dancing and get on the dance floor with you. Or if all else fails, you go make out in a corner with them completely ignoring the internal debate that happened prior.

That’s what’s on the lines of what’s SUPPOSED to happen.But, it didn’t happen that way for me.
Have you ever read that one novel that made you question your way of thinking? Have you ever came across that movie that left you in a dark,deep depression for days after a beloved character dies? Or a piece of poetry with that one line that rings worse in your ear repeatedly than the IRS when they're hunting you down?
That was this song for me. The love or lust line haunts both my night and day dreams when I contemplate my past relationships . The ones where I sacrificed small things like my free time to even bigger things like my college education for even the smallest inkling of affection. Where as, my past partners sacrificed little to none, but still got their lusts satiated in the forms of teasing, kisses, and heavy pawing.
Of course, I knew it was lust,but I assumed that the love would soon follow. I believe it did in some cases back then. But, now I find myself questioning..was it really love? Or did teenage hormonal lust and ideas of what romance is supposed to become a blur to me in the height of “Relationship Goals” , romance novels, and my peers?
If this is the case,do I really know how to love someone without expecting them to take from me?

Where do you learn to love after adolescence ? Is there a magical click that goes off in your brain and you're go "Oooooh, so that's how you do it! It's marriage time! I know how to weed out all the bad one now!"
Or is there some self-help book that some people didn't get the memo about that helps them love?(Just kidding, sorta).

Why isn't love a subject you learn how to do in school?

(Photos from Pixabay and Underground HipHop)