A Pair of Pants

in #life7 years ago

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The day dawned bright and sunny. I leapt out of bed. Hot fonking potatoes, it's Father's day!! One of the few genuine bonuses of fatherhood apart from all that pride and joy nonsense that your spawn gives you, is the fact that you get another birthday-esque type of day!

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A day of gifts and lordiness!! I am poked up with excitement! I can hear them chatting away downstairs. No doubt working on a stupendous fucking breakfast that would make a Rhino pause in its gigantic magnificence.

I quickly launch into the shower and then into my clothes. Woot woot!! All aboard the Daddy train!!

Downstairs Mummy and my beautiful daughter greet me with excited smiles and festoon me with gifts that would make a prince of the realm weep culminating in a large exquisitely wrapped guitar shaped thing.
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Oh my god, oh, my god. Is it the Gibson guitar that I have fetish dreamed of for so long but never been able to afford? I eagerly tear off the wrapping and there she is winking at me in all her reddish sunburst glory.

Oh wait a minute... Back a bit.

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I get downstairs. Yeah, this is what being a daddy is all about. I am half wishing there was a felon in the house and I had a sock full of dimes so that I could smash em on the head and shout Who's the daddy? but sometimes it's nice not to have a fight on the stairs.

I push open the door to the living room. My breath hitches in my throat at the delights that await.

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There are some noises coming from the kitchen. Carefully I step over a floor full of toys to see what is happening. Obviously, my breakfast of kings is being made. Perhaps it takes both of them?

I come into view of the kitchen. Mummy is there, pregnant with a spatula in hand and hugely frazzled looking. Clinging to her leg is my child sobbing for some infraction of the laws of the game.

Pfft, she don't know the game yet, a part of me thinks

Ummm, is breakfast on its way?

I say this quite tentatively given the look of stress and indiscriminate rage bubbling beneath my good ladies face.

Not quite. she forces out between gritted teeth.

Well, obviously I could be a cock and go and sit on my laptop and await my feast but hey. It's a day of giving right? So I muck in with ole mummy bear and eventually we calm the crying child and finish off the food that was to be served.

After breakfast, I am solemnly summoned to the floor.

Close your eyes. My daughter demands.

I hold my breath and try not to look as if I know the nature of the game.

I hear them leave the room and go into the big cupboard next to the front door.

I let out a girlish giggle. Flippity flip, flippity flip flip flip!! My Gibson guitar. Here it comes! I have always trusted my dreams you see. I can almost smell that new string oily smell of a freshly popped guitar.

The world stands still and even the universe halts. and observes...

OPEN YOUR EYES!!

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I smile hugely and open them. To say I open them magnanimously would be an understatement. I spread my hands wide in the way that I imagine an emperor would and survey the gift that has been dragged before me.

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It's a pair of pants.

Granted it's a really cool mad my type of pants pair of pants. But it is most definitely a pair of pants and not a guitar.

I sweep my family up close and give them both a hug.

Do you like them? They clamour.

I look at them both fondly with nothing but love in my eyes.

I hot donking love them! I cry.

Happy Fathers day all you Dad's!!

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What a very lovely family you must have there.
You are living the dream.
All i have to do is wait a few more years to get married and start one of my own
I hear its exciting and painful at the same time but i wish for anyways.
To all RESPONSIBLE fathers, have a joyful day

Exciting and painful is a very good way to describe it! I wish you well!!

Happy Dad's Day chico!
I read till the end but all I could remember is that random .. eee..beeepp~~
and poking in excitement
those pants must have done it
loling in the morning :)

Cheers lass!!

Hehe, I am like superman with these pants on lol!!

hahahhah
Cheers!
how's the lil' doll doing?

She is loads better!, still has the little scabs but feeling loads better which is awesome

that's good to know!
cyber hugs!

Happy Fathers day to my buddy and fellow father @meesterboom wish you more happy children / babies so that you will continue celebrating babies birthday till you are 100 years....more success to you.

Thanks mate!! Happy father's day too you to!!

Might just stop at two kids though, it's madness!! In a good way ;0)

Haha Haha good one, 2 is ok however you can use your many steem power to make more if you want. For me as a newbie, I just have to build mine first...Lol

If you build it, they will come or something along those lines lol!

Absolutely...thanks goodness for steem and powering up...no more worries

so sweet :-) your little loves love you. Not sure where you got the guitar notion...it's ALWAYS pants! And as the kids get a bit older, it will be a finger-paints painting that says I Love You! Or it could be this that my nephew just got from his 4 year old:
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Yes i remember getting this too. I was young too, and mine said i liked to save money! LOL :)

15 years old and likes to work!! That's an awesome card!

Awwwwe...what a great story! Those are the best pants ever :) That Gibson will show up one day and will sound all the sweeter for the wait! Happy Father's day to you!!!

They are pretty dashed funky pants!! I am sure one day it will!! Cheers :0)

As always love your posts, they are absolutely always spot on. I got a pair of shorts and a nice hoody. Although my favorite thing was the cool wee card my five year old made me, he then proceeded to read out a poem he made up about how much he loved me....OMG....I was a blubbering mess and my pregnant wife nearly flooded the house! Happy father's day!

Aw a card!! I forgot to mention the card!!

Hehe, that does sound quite emotional. It's easy to get overcome when they are so sweet!!

This post received a 22% upvote from @randowhale thanks to @meesterboom! For more information, click here!

Happy fathers day! A gift is a gift :)

A gift is that! I would have been happy with just a cuddle :0)

yeah right, I'm sure a cuddle is all you wanted :D

hhhhhhhhhh lol i liked your post funny and a bit mistirious anyway great post!!

Hehe, Cheers dude!!

Happy fathers day! Being able to spend it in family, waking up to a hearty meal... thats priceless in my spectrum.

Enjoy your day with your beloved ones!

It is priceless! It's the family celebration that matters! Cheers and happy father's day!!

haha this made me chuckle.
Great Story
Happy Fathers Day!

Cheers man, and to you if it counts!!