Roadsmary's Baby

in #life5 years ago

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The beer shop was oddly quiet when I stepped through the door which closed behind me with a slow and screechy creak.

The rest of the city centre had been bedlam with Christmas shoppers but for whatever reason, the beer shop was silent and still.

There ee is.

Rumbled the Bear-Man's voice from the counter.

Only his eyes and wildly tousled dark hair were visible above the counter-top as if he were hiding from something.

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If he was hiding he was doing a shit job of it.

Aye. It's me. Where is everybody, I thought this place would be heaving?

I peered around in the gloom of his shop just in case there were dead feet belonging to poor murdered souls sticking out from the shadowed corners.

There weren't.

Maybe they're frightened.

Said the Bear-Man in a muffled tone as he still crouched behind the counter.

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Frightened? What the fuck would they have to be frightened of? You been eating lamb curry again and got those savoury farts?

I winced at the thought. I had eaten one of them once, when I had walked unwittingly into his shop and the air had been turgid with his farted arse meat.

No. I fookin haven't, thank you very much.

His muffled voice rose up in pitch as if he was offended at the thought of his farted arse meat being something to be avoided.

Well, if you haven't, there is nothing to fear.

I said confidently, stepping over to the nearest shelf and having a quick scan of his stock.

Nothing to fear, you say?

Came the Bear-Man's voice from down low.

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I looked behind me and saw to my horror that he was houching along on all fours toward me like some kind of marsh-dog.

I frowned with distaste, desperately hoping that he wasn't going to stop beside me and invite me to hop on for a ride.

What you doing down there, get up?

I snapped.

Can't.

By now the Bear-Man had drawn up level with my knees.

Why the hell not?

I stepped back, lest by hanging about down there, he became aroused by my ball scent.

Because of the baby...

The Bear-Man growled in what seemed to be fear.

What fucking baby?! What the fuck are you talking about?

The Bear-Man sighed sadly and lurched to his feet.

THIS BABY!!

He yelled and threw a can, seemingly produced from nowhere, at me.

Gaaar!?!!

Only my ninjistic reflexes from my training on the slopes of Shanimon all those years ago allowed me to catch the damn thing as if I were a cat with big fat lucky paws.

What the fuck?

I stared down at the bright orange can.

Roadsmary's Baby

A rum barrell aged beer made with pumpkins.

The Bear-Man grinned.

Shat yourself, din't ya!

He laughed.

No I fucking did not.

Aye you did.

Didn't.

If ah thought you had you could have it for free

The Bear-Man tittered with an evil gleam in his eye.

I looked at him sternly.

Alright then, I shat myself. Give me the damn thing.

Sort:  

Posted 16 minutes ago...Whilst you're still at work...working...Are you sure you don't have my job 😂😂

Well, I guess, considering you possess ninjistic skills you have the ability to multi task!

Enjoy the pumpkin beer bro.

It's that erm scheduled thing you were talking about.. fo real :0D

I will enjoy it tomorrow! Tonight is the wine! Hurrah!!

Haha...Your secret is safe with me...

Hope pumpkin beer tastes better than it sounds.

I actually got a bottle of gin today as a gift from a client...Will be trying it out at some stage also...Should be good. I'm not much of a drinker but may do a review if I can think of something to say.

Just waffle the first thing that comes into your head, it's honest and usually entertaining!!

I quite like some of the new fangled flavoured gins, the missus gets them

I'm not a massive drinker...Whiskey mostly traditionally but beers here and there and the odd wine too. Had my first gin and tonic a couple years ago and had a few since. Don't mind them.

My sister sent over a decent wine which we got today...Looks tremendous..."Zesty on the back palette" is how I describe all wines because I have no other clue...This one may require a description with more...Refinement. 😂

I plan to do a quick post on it sometime.

I look forward to such a post!!!

I am quite the wine drinker, probably more so than beer but I do like beer too. The good thing about having a job is that it curtails that kind of hobby quite well :0)

Challenge accepted...Wine review will occur.

Boom!! ;0D

There are things that do not belong in beer... pumpkin is one of them! (But I do hope it turns out for ya)

I had a pumpkins beer before and it was truly gutwrenchingly bad. I'm a great believer in second chances!!

There are just some things that are good... but just don't belong together. Like whipped cream and steak- I love them both, just not together.

Yikes, can you imagine them together!? That would be horrible!!

Yeah, I know... that's kinda how I feel about pumpkin and beer!

The proof will be in the pudding as they say!!! :OD

Are you sure Bear-man isn't really... a talking bear? He seems to be on all fours... like a lot!

He looks like a bear, a bloody massive one!! Maybe he can't stand upright for long!!

The bear man is masturbating himself while you smell his curry farts and die slowly into a shit's paradise

You know, I wish it wasn't like that but deep down I fear it might possibly be!

Whenever visiting the Netherlands, I've got some nice beers for you to try!

Can't bloody wait to be able to visit the Netherlands, I can tell you!!

More than welcome!

Just need the pesky kids to grow up or something!! Lol

Ha ha, I've braved the chaos of town today to buy pressies for family and friends... and let me tell ya... there were many a savoury fart floating around out there! It was a nightmare.

A rum barrell aged beer made with pumpkins.

Mmnnn, sounds like a fruity xmas brew. Enjoy the festive boozin boomy :)

Hehe, crowded places are murder for it!!

I am looking forward to it very much!!

Looking forward to savory flatulence?.. that's crazy talk 😂

Not the flatulence!! GAargh! ;O)

I live right down the street from Two Roads Brewery :)
Nice to see their beers getting around!

Do you! That's awesome! I really like the look of this one too. You tried it? My fingers are crossed for the tasting!

I haven't tried that one but they had a big billboard on the highway with it advertised during Halloween season. They recently opened a 2nd facility where they are experimenting with barrel aged stuff.

Lol. That makes me laugh that is has probably taken this long to get over here!!

That's cool, I am very fond of a barrel aged beer!

Why not? Money is money. ;)

My thinking exactly! Free is free!!

!BEER
for you



Hey @meesterboom, here is a little bit of BEER from @eii for you. Enjoy it!