She?
Twas my usual Monday. I was in the park sitting outside in the frigid Scottish sun with the little boom. The temperature was a balmy 9 degrees and I unzipped my heavy coat a little, to enjoy the 'warm' air.
The little boom was running frantically to and fro after various birds, screeching in what he thought was their language. The birds were squawking and shitting in terror but couldn't leave for the lure of the food scraps dropping from the cafe tables.
It was very peaceful despite the birds terrified squawks.
My mate Daz who normally accompanied me on a Monday was absent having been sent on numerous errands by his heavily pregnant wife.
No doubt she had sent him out for kimchi and old strips of leather to chew. It works with dogs.
I contemplated getting a cake. The little boom was so engrossed in his kill the birdies game; he probably wouldn't notice.
Vaguely, I noticed a shadow loom over me.
Oh, she's lovely!
Exclaimed a dotty old bat of a woman with pink hair.
Huh?
I said looking about me for a hot chick with big norks.
There was none. Just dog walkers, raddled looking mummies and old people.
What was the daft bat going on about? I shielded my eyes and looked up at her.
Eh?
I said politely.
Your wee girl. She's lovely. Isn't she?
Squawked the mad old bat.
I looked around too make sure that my daughter, the little lady, hadn't played hooky from school and somehow followed me to the park.
The mad old bat sensed my confusion.
Your wee lassie, she's lovely!?
She said, waving a diseased looking claw in the direction of my flame-haired son.
Isn't she?
She barked.
She is actually HE.
I said with a dismissive sniff.
WHAT!? Are you sure?
Demanded the mad old bat.
I rolled my eyes. Was I sure my son was a boy? Cheeky boot. He was practically Zeus reborn.
He has a penis. So, yes. I am sure.
I said flatly.
Oh! Goodness!? There is no need to be rude!
Huffed the mad old bat with a squarly look in her eye.
And balls. He has big fat balls.
I said with a malicious grin.
Oh!! OH!! That's a DISGRACEFUL way to talk!
My grin grew wider.
He takes after his Daddy I think.
I winked.
She let out a strangled yelp and turned tail, hobbling off, squawking about rude young men.
I chuckled and looked over at the little boom who was still chasing pigeons and screaming.
Ha, looks like you aren't the only one scaring away the wildlife, little man.
She called you young. Take the win!
Well there is that!! :0)
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haha, no norks in sight - what a letdown.
I was mostly mistaken for a girl, funny that my mum didn't seem to mind the error.....
At least you corrected the ways of the old lady, she wont do that again!
It happens quite a lot, I think because we are letting his hair grow a bit wild. Hehe, glad it has happened to someone else though!!
And no norks, sometimes life is rubbish :0)
A blob of clothes running around only chasing birds, without the weapon of choice, a handy stick to bop them on the head, would look a bit girly.
At least she called you young, what more could you want.
She did, but she probably thought everyone was young!
yes, at that age, everybody else is young, no matter how old they may think they are.
Yeah, that's true. I have already noticed the bay number of youngsters below me!
Watch out!!!!!. You will be catching D O B disease soon. There is no cure.
Doddery Old Bar steward, could be helped with your weekly test🙃
haha! that's hilarious meesterboom and I believe every word of it, sometimes you don't even have to embelish for life to be hilarious!
Heh heh, aye it wasa good one alright. I've never seen an old lady so horrified!
haha! that's awful ornery sir meesterboom, I love it! lol. I KNEW that was a true story.
Every day is special!
It certainly is dude!!! :0D
Wow @meesterboom 'gender pronouns' are all the rage nowadays, I'm not touching this one with a 20 foot non binary gender specific pole :)
Haha, yes, I am scared to even go there myself!!
"He takes after his Daddy I think.".............you think?.....you don't know?.....My dear Boom you are that boy's father right?...LOL
upvoted and resteemed
It was merely false modesty ;0)
But are you really sure? This is 2019 we are talking about, you can't assume your young son's gender... oh god, now it was me that assumed his/her gender...
OMGZ, you assumed too, he/she is actually intersexed and part animal!!!
Lol. No, he is nice definitely a rambunctious wee boy!
Ooooooo....My favorite snack...
It's a nice snack! Well, if the leather is beef of course!
Yes...goes perfectly with Kimchi...