The Client
I've got a client.
Said the good lady with the oddest expression in her face.
A bloody what? What are we, a prostitute now?
I said somewhat incredulously. I certainly hadn't seen this coming. Although I did have a memory of promising a two hour massage in exchange for some hungry hippo mouth snorfling once.
Damn, it's a slippery slope. It probably all started from there.
Very funny Daddy, I am sure it hasn't escaped your attention that I have been training to become a Doula?
Hmm, that did ring a bit of a bell.
But you haven't finished your training? Wasn't I doing your website? I haven't finished it yet. How can you have a client? Is it even allowed?
Yes it's allowed you doofus. Someone on the Doula Facebook group recommended me based on the advice I was giving to someone else and it just snowballed from there.
I gazed at her with my best Kung Fu master face. She gazed back.
I narrowed my eyes.
She held my stare and tilted her head to one side.
The silence stretched out.
I raised an eyebrow.
She furrowed her whole-brow.
I took a deep breath and let it out.
How much are you charging this client?
The good lady stated a number. I gasped as if punched right on the tip of the penis.
Really? Like, wtfunkz? Is that normal? Are you a high-class Doula or something?
Oh, ha ha. It is perfectly normal. Anyway you are the one who told me to rate what I did and not to undersell myself.
Did I? Wow, I rock.
I patted my tummy as if I had just eaten a wolf.
Alright then. Just one thing though?...
Yes Daddy bear?
This client... It's not a man is it?
Yes Daddy bear, it's a man. I can't wait.
I gave her my best someone's been boiling beef in the kettle again face.
Ha bloody ha.
Trust her to take a joke too far.
I admit I had to google it. I thought let me read it and see if there are any clues. As usual fuck all. I can't believe that they had jobs like this. It's like someone made a new job for themselves but wait some medical insurance companies even cover the costs. Dad's job is getting easier now as you can pay for a replacement.
Hehe, I know, it's a bit mental!! I did have a fair laugh when you did as usual, fuck all. Lol!!!
Wow! That happened fast. It seems she just started training a little while ago...Does this mean late night call out for deliveries?
It seems fast to me too! She would be on call for a month.I didn't realise that they are encouraged to get stuck in after a certain amount of time. Poor woman having to state at all those vaginas. :0)
She will be needing an Ivy Staff and a flying broom shortly. Buy locally!
I know a man!
I've never heard of it, which is a doula? Also you should not feel proud of her for having her first client? Hahaha xD
I am proud, I was just teasing :0)
It is a woman who helps other women with their births!!
Did you seriously ask your Doula wife is her client is a man? LoL XD
Good to hear she's not underselling :D
Yeah she did laugh about it in the end lol!!
Had to search what a Doula is... first time hearing that word in my whole life!
How can someone be a doula to a man? Either google is lying to me or I'm highly confused to what a doula is...
Last time i said something similar to a women I almost died... I was joking, but i guess she didn't like the joke to much, ended up with a slap on my face and a knee to my balls... what she didn't know is that i'm highly addicted to BDSM :P JK, or maybe not jk, who knows
Hehe, she is a doula yeah. I had to Google out to the first time I heard it. She is a doula to a woman though, I was just being a cheeky mofo!
Ha ha, she had you there.
She did... Again!!!
Love your style of storytelling, man. I laughed out loud reading this ^_^ I think doulas do great work. good on her to get a client so soon and best of luck to her in her new career!
Cheers, I am going everything will go well and it isn't a protracted 4 day birth!!
All right, now you can quit your job and stay home to drink beer.
I've made it, yeehaw!!!
Congratulations to doulaboom!
Hehe, doulaboom, that's awesome!!