The truth behind lies...

"I have been unfair to every one who loves me..."

... a lonely, hurt and devastated lady said.

She just wants to be happy...
A genuine happiness that is!
Happiness that won't hurt anyone...
Happiness that is something to be proud of..
.... to every one,
....every where.

She was hurt so bad because the person she thought love her just pretended...He brainwashed and took advantage of her...
Because of this she had hurt & fooled the love of her life who is the father of her kids...
She had made mistakes, big mistakes!
She is now broken into pieces.

This is the price, the price of the lies...
This is the truth behind the lies...
This is the end of an ugly beginning...
This is the beginning of a beautiful end.

     I want to make it up to you 
   My buddy...
   My honey...
   My baby...
   My sweety...
   My daddy...

But how...?

If it is already too late;
If the last card was thrown;
If he already gave up;
If this is the period of the story.

My eyes won't dry...
My eyes will always cry until i die...
The pain I caused can't be healed by a sorry...
I am sorry and I will keep on saying it until the day I die.

As I write this, I received a message...
Guess what the message says,
"I want to change for the better. Really. Now. Let me start by saying. I FORGIVE YOU. IF GOD HAD FORGIVEN ME WHY SHOULDN'T I... I FORGIVE YOU."

My heart leaped so high...
My heart beated so fast...
I felt so happy...
But these were just temporary..coz after 5 minutes, another message popped..
It says, "I AM FORGETTING ALL THE THINGS YOU DID TO ME... AND I AM SETTING YOU FREE. I HOPE AND PRAY YOU WILL FIND AND HAVE YOUR TRUE HAPPINESS."

The happiness I felt turned into sadness.
My mind went blank like a clean piece of paper.

Shocked. Blocked.

I do not know...

Why?

How?

   The truth is...

I deeply regret the mistakes I made.
I truly realized how much my buddy honey baby sweety daddy loves me...right until this moment.

I am feeling so sorry for myself.
One thing for sure i am not happy.
But this is the price of all the things I did & all the lies I had.
I know i am the reason why it happened.
And I wont forgive myself that's the truth.

I am sorry to the person I love most...

To the father of my kids...

To my husband and my buddyhoneybabysweetydaddy.

Before I end my last blog my readers and friends...

I want everyone to know with what I did, he was so close to destruction but thank God...
GOD had shone upon him...letting him to open his heart for forgiveness and opening his mind for understanding.

I am happy because finally my worst nightmare is over
B U T
I am deeply sad because my greatest dream of having my own family with the one I love most is over too.

            I am wrong ever since and 
                I do not deserve to be happy.
     Maybe someday but I am not hoping...

MissJ-Vee is signing off officially

Farewell friends and readers!