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RE: Bad habits that ruin our relationships
@jwolf
My problem was the opposite, whenever we had an argument I blamed myself to end the arguement and whenever anything happened within our relationship it would be my fault. Even. After we broke up it was my fault, I kept thinking to myself but in the end I noticed that it wasn’t and the blame also fell on her sometimes. Because, I wanted more happiness and less arguments I blamed myself every single time. She probably saw that as a weakness and it was most likely what ended our relationship.
It was not that she saw you as a weak man. You made a martyr of yourself, a victim, and that automatically made her, your abuser. She could not have that feeling any more, do you understand?
In the Celestine Prophecy, the book describes how in situations two individuals combat for energy. If energy is not in equilibrium then there will be two counterparts created based off of dominance of energy. A person who cowers or becomes smaller is aloof. The individual who causes that is an interrogator.
Quite a remarkable book. You can also see my comment on this post about detachment from opinions during arguments and giving yourself a break. Don't blame yourself and don't blame others.
Keep Steeming you Hooligan!