How Do You Steemers Wipe Your Ass?

in #life8 years ago

Everyone has a well-defined routine when wiping their ass. Sometimes you need to wipe a lot, sometimes a little, sometimes the stream of shit seems to never cease.

Personally, before I start I put down a couple of pieces to float in the water to prevent Poseidon's Kiss. Then I use a dubious amount of TP to wipe my shithole, carefully inspecting the TP to determine if more wipes are needed. I utilize a number of masterful single-wipe techniques which are customized to my ass for maximum wiping efficiency and comfort.

How do you shit? 

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On the carpet because I'm a motherfucking beast... now excuse me, I have to go flex in front of the mirror for an hour.

With the USD.

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