mtf transition timeline

in #life7 years ago

Hello! I want to tell everyone my transition story because it's always fun to share with others!

I posted this yesterday with terrible tags so no one really saw it. My friend suggested I repost it with tags people will actually see. Sorry for being a noob : c

A quick little before and after to give you an idea, first picture is from 2012 and the second is just a few days ago!

2012/2017

neato.jpg

15 | highschool

I was struggling with gender dysphora since I started to hit a late pubery, it was pretty confusing and I was not sure what to do about it, I eventually discovered a community that I could really relate to, and because of that I was able to have a better understanding of my problems and what I could do to overcome them. I started HRT when I was 15 by ordering it from the internet. I took it for a while, but decided to stop because I was not sure it was the direction I wanted to take in life, I went through a lot of emotions in this time; I was trying very hard to be as manly as I could.

I had no pictures in this time

20 pre hrt | dropped out of university | 2012

I made a very bizarre choice to drop out of university to pursue a relationship, at the time it was a really stupid move, but it was a bold decision that I grew a lot from- no regrets. In this time I was cross dressing a lot and felt happy doing so. The relationship failed, and the depression from working a min wage job was hurting me a lot. I had a chance to redeem myself by getting myself back into school, so that became the goal I was aiming for. This was around when gender dysphoria was really bad; I was depressed and had no idea what to do. I kept thinking being manly would help, but that was just killing me inside. I ordered HRT online and held off a few months before starting.

As you can see, was trying extra hard with the beard.

2012.JPG

21 with HRT | in college now

I started taking HRT while trying to find a doctor to get a prescription for it. Was already starting with laser hair removal- a lot of hairs to zap. I encountered a problem where a lot of my facial hair was turning white, so this lead to a lot of sadness; laser cannot zap lighter hairs. College was going very well, I had a co-op lined up and was very happy with it.

Looking alright, but I had to shave daily.

2013.jpg

22 | full time job

Around this time I was a lot more confident with myself, but I was still not full time because of facial hair. At work I still had to present male, but I was able to get away with wacky hair cause I was a valuable asset. I was living in a dump and trying super hard to save up money for ffs. I was still draining away a lot of money trying to get rid of facial hair.

That colour was a lot of fun, but not very professional.

2014.jpg

23 | presenting female full time

I went through a relationship that was great, but it wouldn't have worked out, so we both moved on happy. At work it was a huge struggle with presenting female; the environment was terrible and I felt very out of place. I started to hate my job, so my goal was to get FFS and leave. I had it pretty much 100% saved up, just needed to start planning ahead to figure out what to do after. I was still trying to remove facial hair, it was still a burden on me.

I had a super awesome room mate who helped me a lot with makeup

2015.jpg

24/25 | bad times & very good times

So, I had all my plans made out for FFS. I traveled to the states to have it done, and everything was going well, but when I was about to go into the operating room the anesthesiologist was concerned with my heart (I have a very bad heart) and because of that they canceled the surgery. I was absolutely devastated, and ended up back in Canada with nothing. After months of working and trying to figure out plans with doctors, they concluded that the surgery is not realistic because the anesthesia would stop my heart and I would die. So with that, I quit my job and traveled to BC.

I arrived there and met up with my friend, we ended up traveling around Canada and eventually The Yukon. We got a job there as bartenders in a small town and we just partied hard and explored every inch of nature. We went back to Ontario in November.

I do not have much pictures from this time, but I got pretty fat from greasy food and heavy drinking.

2016.jpg

25/26

When I got back to Ontario I was struggling to find work, so instead we did stuff in Toronto, traveled eastern Canada, and had a fun trip to Japan! I still had a modest amount of money left from my FFS fund, so that all went to good use. I also finished up on laser hair removal!

2017.jpg

Where I am right now

And now, I am in trying to get my career back on track while working on self improvement. It was been a rough ride, but I am now at the point where I don't have to worry about gender dysphoria. The last thing I need to do is voice training, which has been hard for me, but with enough practice and lessons from my awesome teacher I feel like I can pull through.

1512857095198.jpg

IMG_20171209_073223.jpg

25287103_129862204376594_277605113_n.jpg

Thanks for reading! As a bonus here is a picture of my dog < 3

look_at_dog.jpg

You can also see more NSFW pictures here https://fetlife.com/users/837366

Sort:  

Welcome to Steem Community @muffs! As a gentle reminder, please keep your master password safe. The best practise is to use your private posting key to login to Steemit when posting; and the private active key for wallet related transactions.

In the New Steemians project, we help new members of steem by education and resteeeming their articles. Get your articles resteemed too for maximum exposure. You can learn more about it here: https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@gaman/new-steemians-project-launch

Hi, welcome to Steemit.
I really respect you for doing this.
If u have any question turn to me.
Hope we can help eachother out in the future!

Wow your transition has sure been successful ;)

Congratulations @muffs! You have completed some achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

Award for the number of upvotes received

Click on any badge to view your own Board of Honor on SteemitBoard.
For more information about SteemitBoard, click here

If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

By upvoting this notification, you can help all Steemit users. Learn how here!

I find it very warming that you were able to write about your challenges you faced along the way. I work with individuals who are in similar situations to yourself and I find you story very inspiring. Keep going and don't lose the faith :-)

What HRT pills did you use? I need good ones for when i start taking them soon. Please respond.

So... you haven't cut off your penis yet?? And what if you ever need surgery because of a conventional illness? If I were you, I'd get a tattoo with that heart information somewhere where ER doctors see it in case you collapse and get to a hospital unconsciously.