Is the relationship is more destructive than constructive for you

We are naturally social beings, relying on and engaging with others throughout our lives. Our existence is interconnected with those around us. Rather than being isolated, we are influenced by our relationships, which help shape our identities. These connections play a significant role in how we understand ourselves and navigate our emotions.

Our personality, behavior, thoughts, and feelings are formed through our interactions with others, and we discover who we are in these situations. Close relationships with family, friends, and partners, built on trust and security, contribute to our happiness, sense of purpose, well-being, resilience, stress management, and personal growth. While attachment styles and secure relationships are essential in our development, this article focuses on the relationships you have in the present.

Many people, including clients and acquaintances, share that they struggle with certain relationships. These can be relationships where they feel unable to be themselves, where guilt looms, or where the thought of interaction brings discomfort. After spending time with certain individuals, they often feel wrong, drained, or unhappy.

I once read a book that categorized relationships as "radiators" or "drains." This distinction encouraged individuals to evaluate whether their relationships bring joy or negativity. We can all identify relationships that inspire and energize us, as well as "toxic" ones that leave us feeling small or unimportant.

No relationship is entirely positive. It's important to acknowledge that everyone faces tough times, during which they may struggle to contribute positively and be seen as a “drain.” The reality is more complex, and it is rarely best to end friendships just because of temporary challenges. Generally, it's worth trying to work through difficulties before deciding on a relationship.

However, if most of your friends are negative, demanding, or draining, it’s understandable to feel exhausted or unhappy after spending time with them. It may be helpful to reevaluate your relationships.