The Little Girl that I let to Slip Away

People really do come and go into someones life, people that shares our happiness, our sadness, shares with our feelings and emotions. There are no requirements needed to become this person, anyone that surrounds us might be this person - we may be that kind of person. Sometimes we are the one who shares with a person's feelings and emotions, sometimes we are that person who come and then eventually goes.

But do you ever think why a person come and go out into someone's life?

Is it God's plan? or that person was destined to walk beside you for a while? or maybe that person will help you became who you are today?

Well whatever the reason for their interfering show up in our lives, I think we must accept their contributions in our life whether it makes us better or worse.

So today I would like to share a story about a little lady that pass my way, a little lady that I let to slip away, a little lady that I let to go away, a little lady that I don't efforts for her to stay

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It's quite funny, you suddenly show up infront of me and yet I don't even think that you will be a big part of me. This little lady that bring big impact on who I am really.

I was clueless in my surrounding until this annoying little lady pop up and keeps on staring at me, wherever I go she keeps on glancing at me that I felt really conscious with my body. Is my face dirty ? or my uniform needs to be ironed immediately ?

Everytime I try to focus on my study, this little lady give me chills staring at me - each look was like a sharp knife that keeps on penatrating my body. wherever I sit in the classroom I was being watched - it really was like a CCTV was being focused on me.

I also was feeling that this little lady was somehow making a way for me to notice her, making scenes just to make me glance at her. Showing what she really feel was kinda brave for the little lady, ***but me ?*** I don't have the courage to make her my baby. I'm making myself busy and not giving her the attention she seeks, making excuses so that I'm not able to hear every words she speaks. I envy that little lady who have all the courage to express what she really thinks, everything that crosses her mind became the words and sentences that she speaks.

Me ? I can't do that, I'm the man who can't speak up. I am the man who keeps on thinking and then uttering the word that "what if I speak up?" I kind of feel sorry for myself that I can't make myself speak what I think, I kind of feel weak for not letting go of what I feel.

I do want to be with the little lady, I don't want her to look behind me - but rather I want her to look beside me. I wan't to give the attention she seeks and keeps on hearing what she wants to speak. I want to hold her hand very tight, like a very elegant knight. I really do want to say that I like her, but I was to afraid that I might eventually lose her

Losing her was my greatest fear, I was afraid that what if it didn't work? what if we were rushing our way in the new world I am not familiar of? what if we end up hurting each other?
I really want her to be with me but I also don't want her to get mad at me.

I let that weakness get in my way, until the little lady decided to walk away. Seeing her fading away gives me the courage to say "I want you to stay" - but I was too late, coz I lost you on that day. I want you to be back at me, but I guess you're already too far away from me. It feels like a torture everyday and I will be lying if I say I was OK.

As you go I learn to become me - speak up to myself was the key not to lose the person standing infront of me. Allowing weakness to get in the way was not good in our life, today I wasn't asking that my weakness fades away - but rather asking to overcome each of them in my way.

To the little lady that became a big part of me, I want to say thank you and can you walk again infront of me? Can you show up again infront of me - because now I have the courage to make you my baby. Now that you teach me to became of who I am today, I am hoping to see you again one day. When that time come I promise that I will not let you pass my way, I promise that I will not let you slip away,I promise that I will not let you go away, I promise that I will make you stay.

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